The great theologian The Dread Pirate Roberts said, “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”
1. Be honest with everyone; only share with a few.
Not sharing the whole story—or any part of the story—with everyone is not being dishonest; it’s being wise. It’s totally OK for you to invite others to pray. Good friends will understand and not press for details.
2. Remind yourself of God’s promises.
Serving as a hospice chaplain, I often told people that my job was to whisper God’s truths back to them during the difficult moments. When you go through a crisis, your heart and your head disconnect so you can deal with the overwhelming emotions. Sometimes, the pain makes us emotional zombies. During these times, we have to cling to God’s promises, especially the ones that are about His character, his declarations for us and not our circumstances.
Choose to believe God when He says, “I never will leave you or forsake you,” rather than your doubts. Accept what God has done for us, realizing the thoughts that don’t agree with His actions, and that we are wrong and God is right.
Whether it’s Psalm 23 or some other passage, God’s Word must be our constant source of comfort in hard times. Make a list of four to six passages that are your core Scripture verses. Memorize them (if you haven’t already). Write them down, and put them in your wallet, purse, doorframe, dashboard, phone wallpaper, computer screen or anywhere that your eyes will be focused.
3. Recall when God has been faithful in the past.
It’s not merely the abstract or biblical truth that gives us hope. Remembering our Ebenezers carries us through hard times, too. These are the times from our personal stories when we’ve experienced God’s faithfulness, and we cannot deny them.
We tend to focus on the bad rather than the good. Force yourself to remember the good that God already has done for you. When we do that, we more likely can appropriate the fact that the God who has been faithful before in our own lives will be faithful again.
4. Be wise about how you respond to the struggle.
As Chuck Swindoll has said, “I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me, and 90 percent how I react to it.”
5. Seek a specialist.
6. Let others minister to you.
Community is one of our greatest needs, yet research shows that ministers/pastors do not have healthy friendships with many people. Change that now. Ministerial alliances or networks are great. However, if you are in one but don’t really know anyone, it doesn’t do you any good. As your mother told you, “You have to be a friend to have a friend.”
Allow lifelong friends to serve you by caring for you and listening to you.
Ultimately, we have to put all of our faith in Jesus and His desire to carry us through difficult times. Remember His words, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).