We hear repeatedly about forgiveness and the importance that it has on our faith life. Knowing the definition of forgiveness and knowing how to forgive someone in our lives are two very different things. This is an activity to help youth come up with strategies for applying forgiveness to their daily lives.
Divide the group into five small groups. Each group will be given a Bible story and reflection sheet. The small group will come up with one concrete way to forgive based on what the Scripture is teaching us. Be open to ideas the youth may have, but try to direct each group to the step of forgiveness that should come forth from the story. After time for discussion, all the groups will come together and record Five Steps to Forgiveness. Each group will share its step and explain why the students felt that was an example shown in Scripture. The ideas can be posted in your meeting room so youth can see them and be reminded of them at each meeting. Paper should be made available for youth who may want to write down the steps so they can have them to refer to at home or school.
Five Steps to Forgiving Others
1. Pray.
2. Reflect on your own sin and seek forgiveness.
3. Say it out loud.
4. Show unconditional love.
5. Keep forgiving.
GROUP 1
Start with a prayer. Ask if there are any thoughts or reflections from the talk about forgiveness.
Read Luke 23:34: “But Jesus was saying, ‘Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.’ And they cast lots, dividing up His garments among themselves.
“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you; in this way you will be children of your Father in heaven, for He causes the sun to rise on bad men as well as good, and His rain to fall on honest and dishonest persons alike…You must therefore be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matt. 5:43-48).
Personal Reflection:
What is Jesus teaching us about forgiveness in these verses?
Group Reflection:
1. Share with the group what you felt may be a step toward forgiving others that these verses demonstrate.
2. Did Jesus wait for people to ask for forgiveness before forgiving them?
3. Jesus extended His forgiveness by including people He did not know personally. Have you ever been hurt by someone you didn’t know? How can you forgive in that situation? (Ex. Many people were hurt during the attacks of 9/11. How can they start the process of forgiveness?)
Write down at least one step toward forgiveness that your group comes to through these passages.
GROUP 2
Start with a prayer. Ask if there are any thoughts or reflections from the talk about forgiveness.
Read Matthew 7:3: “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?”
“‘Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.’ Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’ ‘No one, Sir,’ she said. ‘Then neither do I condemn you,’ Jesus declared. ‘Go now and leave your life of sin'” (John 8: 7-11).
Personal Reflection:
What is this verse saying to me about forgiveness?
Group Reflection:
1. At first glance, these verses may not seem as if they are about forgiving others. Why do you think they were included in our study?
2. Have you ever been in a situation of finding yourself angry at a person, but later discovered you were actually the one at fault?
3. Why is it important to acknowledge our own sin before forgiving others?
Write down at least one step toward forgiveness that your group comes to through these passages.
GROUP 3
Start with a prayer. Ask if there are any thoughts or reflections from the talk about forgiveness.
Read Mark 2:1-12: “They came bringing to Him a paralytic carried by four men. Unable to get near Jesus because of the crowd, they opened up the roof above Him. After they had broken through, they let down the mat on which the paralytic was lying. When Jesus saw their faith, He said to the paralytic, ‘Child, your sins are forgiven.'”
“When Joseph’s brothers saw their father was dead, they said, ‘What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him?’ So they sent word to Joseph, saying, ‘Your father left these instructions before he died: “This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.” Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father.’ When their message came to him, Joseph wept. His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. ‘We are your slaves,’ they said. But Joseph said to them, ‘Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.’ He reassured them and spoke kindly to them” (Gen. 50:15-21).
Personal Reflection:
How is God teaching us to offer others forgiveness in this passage?
Group Reflection:
1. What is a step toward forgiveness that both of these passages have in common?
2. Why do you think it is important to say out loud to someone, “I forgive you,” and to offer them words of reassurance?
3. Share a time when you have spoken these words to someone.
4. There may be times when people do not react kindly when you offer forgiveness. What would you do in that situation?
Write down at least one step toward forgiveness that your group comes to through these passages.
GROUP 4
Start with a prayer. Ask if there are any thoughts or reflections from the talk about forgiveness.
Read Luke 15:11-32: “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ The father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate, for this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.”
“He said to him the third time, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love Me?’ Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, ‘Do you love Me?’ He said to Him, ‘Lord, You know all things; You know I love You.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Tend My sheep'” (John 21:15-17).
Personal Reflection:
What was the response of the father in the prodigal son? What was the response of Jesus in the second verse (after Peter denied Jesus)?
Group Reflection:
1. What is the common response and attitude of forgiveness of the father and Jesus?
2. Why is it hard to show unconditional love to those who have betrayed us?
3. The father hugs and kisses his son to show forgiveness. When it is appropriate, why might it be good to show physical affection to those who need our forgiveness?
4. The father allowed for his son to be called a son rather than a servant. Jesus allowed Peter to lead the other disciples in spite of his sin. Why do you think it is important that we still allow people to maintain their position/role in our lives after we forgive them?
Write down at least one step toward forgiveness that your group comes to through these passages.
GROUP 5
Start with a prayer. Ask if there are any thoughts or reflections from the talk about forgiveness.
Read Luke 17:3-4: “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”
“Then Peter went up to Him and said, ‘Lord, how often must I forgive my brother if he wrongs me? As often as seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘Not seven, I tell you, but seventy-seven times'” (Matt. 18:21-35).
Personal Reflection:
Have I had to forgive someone repeatedly for the same thing? Why is that difficult?
Group Reflection:
1. What step of forgiveness is Jesus teaching us in these verses?
2. Why is it hard to continue to forgive someone?
3. What does our society tell us to do in these situations? How is our culture’s response different from what Jesus calls us to do?
4. Your friend tells a lie about you to another friend. You pray about it and forgive them. A few weeks later, you remember the lie and it makes you angry all over again. How do you respond? Why might we have to continue to forgive people for the same things? How do we do this?
Write down at least one step towards forgiveness that your group comes to through these passages.
