DURBAN, South Africa—Patrick was so furious as a child that he could not be around other children or carry on a conversation. His rage over being an abandoned orphan threatened to consume him.
Now 24, Patrick lives in Chesterville, a township (slum) in Durban. Like most of South Africa’s townships, Chesterville’s residents are plagued by unemployment, lack of education, poverty, crime and HIV/AIDS. Most live in small government-built homes and tin shacks, and the streets are filled with people sitting around with nothing better to do than drink, take drugs and gossip.
Patrick admits his past is “a little bit complicated.”
“Since I’ve been born, I’ve been having problems, and it has been difficult for me,” he said.
When Patrick’s mother was pregnant with him and his twin brother, his father abandoned them. Patrick has never met his father and has no idea why he left. Things got worse—his mother and brother became seriously ill with an unknown disease.
When Patrick was 2, his twin died; his mother passed away soon afterward. Patrick was sent to live with an aunt who had several children and couldn’t take care of Patrick, too; so she put him in a government orphanage. Finally, at 8, Patrick was placed in a foster home with Jabu, a loving, supportive foster mother—the only real parent he’s ever known. He spent the rest of his childhood there.
Jabu was able to give Patrick what he needed most: love and stability.
“You can have money, you can have anything, but if you don’t have love, there’s no happiness [for foster kids],” Jabu said. “…They are not here because they like it here, it’s the situation that caused them to be here with us.”
But Jabu’s love couldn’t erase Patrick’s scars of being abandoned and orphaned.
“I had all this anger about my mom, about my father leaving, so I think my life was not moving forward because of what my father did,” Patrick said. “I could not be with people. I always wanted to sit alone.”
His anger kept him from focusing on his studies, so he struggled through primary and secondary school. He made few close friends. Patrick thought several times about running away, but Jabu’s guidance and influence kept him with her. One of the things she taught Patrick was to respect others—and himself.
“There’s nothing more important than giving children love and education—encourage them to go to school, church and teach them respect,” Jabu said, “…because they can build [a better] future.”
When Patrick graduated high school in 2007, Jabu scraped together as much money as she could for him to attend university. Patrick was able to take only three courses before funds ran out.
Without university, Patrick had nothing to do—that’s when he saw a flier for a four-week, lifeskills course offered by a local nongovernmental organization (NGO) called “World Changers Academy” (not affiliated with World Changers, the Southern Baptist Convention’s youth mission project program). The course focused on self-improvement by exploring topics such as vision and purpose for life and goal setting.
Patrick had his doubts about the class until two specific topics—self-leadership and healing of the past—piqued his curiosity.
“It really touched me because we had to talk about our past, which I didn’t like; but I think that helps because even that day I cried…and I just released that anger,” Patrick said. “[I had] this thing that said that I must not forgive him (his father) for what he did to me and my brother and my mom; but after that topic, then I decided, ‘No, I think it’s time to let go.'”
Completely letting go is not easy, though. As Patrick talks about his father, he chokes up and cannot speak for several minutes. Such a display of emotion is rare for black South African men, who typically present a macho façade.
He continues, speaking through tears: “Every time when we talk about her (his mother), the pain just comes back and I really miss her.”
Though his emotional scars run deep, Patrick is working through those issues so he can give back to his community. He now teaches and coordinates lifeskills classes in Chesterville through World Changers Academy.
“I want to work with young people or people in the community…and help them discover who they are and help them to move forward because World Changers really helped me to move forward,” Patrick said. “Working with other people who had the same condition or history as me, I think it will help even when speaking to them…because it’s not only me who had a horrible past.”
It was more than lifeskills classes that helped Patrick begin healing—he also accepted Christ as his Savior.
Jabu always made sure Patrick attended church throughout his childhood; however, he did not understand the reason for going to church or what it meant to be a Christian. He continued to lie, tease and insult others. Through the mentoring and discipling of the World Changers program, Patrick became a Christian in 2011.
“…My lifestyle was not good at all, and I didn’t enjoy being myself,” he said. “But after choosing Christ, it’s like there’s a new me who wants to express himself. That’s why I wanted to go back and help the people in the community—not just to know Christ and sit and do nothing.”
Patrick believes showing the love of Christ—being His heart, His hands and His voice—will transform his neighborhood.
“…If we [in Chesterville] put our hope in Christ, I think automatically our ways will change and we’ll move forward, because at the moment it seems as if we are standing…Right now, they do drugs because they don’t care about people; they steal because they don’t care about people; [but] Christianity teaches about love and care for others.”
OneLife, an IMB initiative that connects students in the United States with missions projects around the world, has a “One Neighborhood” project in need of student volunteers to serve in Chesterville and other townships in Durban. Students will work with IMB missionaries and local Christians such as Patrick to share the hope of Jesus Christ with residents.
To find out more about OneLife, the One Neighborhood project and how you can get involved, visit OneLifeMatters.org.
Pray that Patrick will continue to move forward from his past and truly become a new person in Christ. Pray for others to accept God’s call to use their one life to impact one neighborhood such as Chesterville or one life such as Patrick’s.
