So, you’ve landed your first youth ministry job. Heck, it’s the first job of any kind you’ve ever held outside your parents’ house or the fantasy role-playing video games you used to play all day long.
When some folks get a new job, they get all tense and nervous. They try to show up on time. They try to shower and shave and wear socks that match. They try to please the new boss. But not you!
You’re different. You are God’s uniquely talented gift to youth ministry and to the smaller-than-expected church that hired you. You don’t need to cramp your style to fit into the narrow agendas and uncreative work styles of others around you.
Instead, be your own person. Do your own thing. Make sure others adapt their lives to you and the absolutely awesome things you are doing with your kids.
Some day you can write a book or create a YouTube video about your unprecedented approach to youth work. Meanwhile, here are a few tips to help you on your way.
Fly Solo. Who needs a team or volunteers? Sounds like more work, more opinions, less control and less progress. Save yourself the time and the energy; just do it yourself. Students look to you to be their youth leader, so give them what they want. After all, no one understands students the way you do, and no one else seems to care or have the commitment that you do. Keep up the good work! In time, God will supply you with all the creative ideas, administrative skills, relational energy, extra time to visit schools, a cool Website, a discipleship strategy, safety procedures, lesson plans, promotional material, the perseverance to set-up and tear down, the wisdom to handle teenage drama, supplies for games, and a vision for your ministry that will capture everyone’s attention. Right?
Neglect Your Soul. Time working for God is the same (if not better) as alone time with God. Everyone is so impressed with all they see you doing, so just keep doing that as much as you can and as often as you can. Truth be told, the only reason you don’t have time to spend time with God is because there is so much ministry to be done. Your soul might be saying, “Slow down!” but the Great Commission says, “Go!”
Change Everything Fast. If you truly are going to make a lasting impact on these students, it is time for change! You have been sent “for such a time as this.” Introduce new traditions and scrap the old. Trade that annual fundraiser or the beloved camp retreat for something else. The long-term vision God gave the ministry left when the last youth leader walked out. You have a clean slate and only six months to prove yourself, so shoot for the stars and make this ministry your own. Nothing is off limits. Picture it: students, parents, the senior pastor and church leaders standing in applause as you have successfully stripped the youth ministry of all its history and group identity.
Make Promises You Can’t Keep. Giving lip service to your students, parents and volunteers is a great way to build the anticipation of all your ministry hopes and dreams. Don’t settle for small dreams! Dream big and tell everyone so they are clear on your long-term goals: mission trips around the world, numerical growth, the 10 years that you plan on being there and everything in between. Build up all the momentum you can; you may need it later. Don’t worry about all the clean up you will have to do if circumstances change.
View Parents as the Enemy. All their questions, glances, emails and phone calls mean only one thing: Parents don’t trust you or respect you. So keep your distance! Create an “us (you and your students) versus them” (the parents) early in your ministry. It is best for everyone.
Choose Ministry over Family. Be sure to inform your loved ones that effective youth ministry requires lots of nightly activities, non-stop texting and working on your day off. On second thought, what is a day off? If I have been called to the Lord’s work, we all must sacrifice and understand the extreme demands of a life of ministry. Our families just have to deal with it — for His glory. Sure, we’ve all heard of ministry families and marriages that have fallen apart, but that won’t happen to our families.
Become Another Kid. If our ministry is to be known as relational, we must become a permanent resident in the world of our students. Theirs is a world of irresponsibility, filthy jokes, unhealthy food, skinny jeans, parties, constant Facebooking, blowing entire Saturdays on video games — You get the picture. Why be a boring authority figure when you can be a friend? Who needs respect when you have an iPhone? By the way, what is the deal with senior pastors who want us to join a small group with other adults? As if adults can offer us something our students can’t!
Lead Proudly. If all else fails in ministry, remember to lead proudly. You are God’s gift to your church! No one can do this ministry the way you can. Remind yourself (and others) of that frequently.
Conclusion: Confessions of Reluctant Satirist
Now I know how C.S. Lewis felt when he was writing The Screwtape Letters. Lewis tried to imagine how demons thought. I’ve been trying to imagine how a grossly naive, proudly ignorant and unbelievably self-centered new youth worker might think, It’s been driving me crazy — because I think I used to be one!
Each point illuminates alarming truths about the darker side of this thing called ministry. Consider it a crash-and-burn guide to a quick (and perhaps permanent) exit from ministry.
I felt dirty and ashamed even writing such things, but such are the demands of art!
As a veteran youth worker, I am aware these attitudes and ideas pulsate through our field of ministry. Some of us are outwardly brash in our display of them — you know, all the youth workers we judge and point fingers at. Others (maybe the majority of us) allow these attitudes to take root in our minds and souls, which might be even worse.
As one who is committed to lasting in this vocation, I will make choices that are at odds with the sassy realities I portrayed in my article.
– I choose to see the benefit and beauty in doing ministry with a team of broken individuals who are like me.
– I choose to engage God in worship, studying His Word and being relentless in retreating to be with Him.
– I choose to focus on painfully slow investment rather than quick fixes and shallow wins.
– I choose to be faithful with today and not make grandiose guarantees about tomorrow.
– I choose to come alongside parents in the spiritual development of their children and see them as my greatest advocates.
– I choose my family instead of ministry knowing I can fail at a lot of things (including ministry), but I cannot fail them.
– I choose to reflect to my students a man walking with God and not settle for being just a spiritual buddy.
– Finally, I choose humility. I am not special or significant — just one of many who desires to help usher this next generation into the kingdom of God.
