I had an interesting reminder recently of the simple importance of presence when it comes to ministry with boys. The reminder came in the form of a high school junior pointing out a time I’d sat in a diner for fries with him and a buddy. Only his memory was a little fuzzy…
During a moment of pastor appreciation, he mentioned to the congregation that he appreciated how I spent time with students and recalled how I “used to take us to the diner after school.” This was a recurring event, maybe even a habit, in his mind; but in reality, this was one afternoon five years ago. Actually, it was only an hour or so five years ago.
The two boys I took out for fries that day, early in my ministry, were both very energetic sixth graders whom I’d learned had a bit of a reputation for um…”less than productive” use of that energy. I just wanted to touch base with them and establish a little bit of connection (and to figure out how to keep them from running off every junior high teacher I could find)! A couple hours and a plate of fries accomplished so much more.
That moment stuck with these boys as a significant time. It established me as a safe touch point for spiritual questions that might come up (and as a helpful outlet for all their creative ideas). Today, as a junior, this guy is wrestling with some tough questions; and we’re able to discuss openly and honestly the shortcomings of some of the spoon-fed answers he’s accepted up to this point in his life.
What if no one had made him or herself available early on his adolescence? What if he never found a safe place to ask tough questions? I wonder who he’d be turning to now… The difficulty here is that I cannot do for all my students what I’ve done for him. As a husband and father of four, there is only so much of me to be made available. That’s why it’s critical to pull together a team of adults who will be there for other boys, as well.
Being a little bit eclectic will be a valuable asset as you assemble this team. The boys in your ministry will have a vast range of interests and personality types, so make sure your team isn’t a bunch of guys who are mostly similar to you. You need athletes and bookworms, techies and Trekkies, old Jedi masters and Speed Racers. Aim for every boy, knowing at least a couple guys to whom they can turn, guys they know who will be there for them. Coach these guys to spend time with God to an extent that He overflows into their interactions with students, because really our presence is only to serve as a conduit for His.
