I left college a passionate, bubbly, 22-year-old, ready to have an impact on youth ministry as a whole and ready to impact teens’ lives with God’s love and hope. Just one year into full-time ministry (five years of ministry all together), though, I found myself becoming cynical.
And just when I was feeling the worst, I walked into worship to multiple complaints. “Turn the music down, or I’ll leave…” “It’s cold in here. Could you ask someone to turn down the A/C?” It was a time when among the staff, egos and jealousy were hardly being left at the door—mine included. Change was not inevitable; it was unthinkable. I found it hard to read the Bible, hard to be creative. Worse, I had lost the passion that had driven me with God’s calling to this profession.
Last Sunday was different. We had several worship stations for Pentecost. I went to one on the stage and surrendered. I sat on the chancel and just told God I was bitter. How could I be so cynical just two years after college? It has started with the one thing I found most important in ministry—vulnerability. I don’t have it together. Why try and hide it? It is difficult to give others a drink when we, too, are thirsty.
I realized in my brokenness that our focus in ministry impacts how we approach ministry. We long for our lives to have purpose. This is especially evident in those who have chosen a vocation in ministry. This basic desire unites church leaders. We long to make a difference. Yet, this also divides us. The quest for meaningful existence is directed by what we have and what we respect. Many times, they are in conflict.
A central and universal problem in churches is the clashing of older and younger people. Generally, older generations value tradition (i.e., what has worked in the past), experience and education. They know what is keeping the church going now and what has worked in the past. Generally, younger generations have energy, passion, idealism and theories for change. They have many tools that will allow the church to keep going long into the future.
Jesus Embraced Old and New
These qualities direct how younger and older generations serve in ministry. All of these things should be valued. We see them in the life of Jesus. Jesus knew Scripture. Jesus had experience with all types of people in all types of settings. Jesus also had passion and zeal. He turned over tables, touched lepers and talked to Samaritan women. He was always challenging the status quo and teaching what could be possible in the Kingdom of God.
The problem for church leaders is that when ministry focuses on our way and on giving our own lives purpose, we bump heads. We experience burnout, jealousy and indecision. But, there is hope. If we choose vulnerability with each other, something could happen. When we come to one another broken, letting go of entitlements and choosing a different focus, we may actually be able to work together and keep people in ministry longer.
So what should be our focus? Perhaps our quest together should be helping other people to find a meaningful existence. For it is in this pursuit that we will find our own purposes. Consequently, we will fill our own hearts when we work together to share with others how their lives can matter. When we come together broken and thirsty, God will do the rest.
Angela Williams is Youth Director at Brentwood Presbyterian Church in Los Angeles. She is pursuing a Master of Divinity degree at Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, California.
