As a parent, I clearly see could the hidden matters (e.g., emotional struggles, relentless scheduling) that younger youth workers never would know. However, I also realized the encouragement and support that a youth ministry could be for our family’s goals. When the tough moments came, Kel and I had allies in youth workers who could pray and come alongside our kids in ways that we, as parents, could not.
As we’re exploring the idea of reaching the whole family, I see two challenges facing Christian educators.
The first is to take the often over-marketed topic of family and help college students grow in their understanding and expertise. University students often feel as if they already know plenty about family. They’ve got their own history. Furthermore, they’ve studied family, been to seminars, watched videos on the subject and (probably) listened to a variety of podcasts on the topic. However, we who teach and lead need to know current family research and possess a clear biblical theology regarding family, one that stands amid the pendulum swings of popular titles. It’s certainly difficult to find the ideal family in Scripture. We can, however, help our students develop a new theoretical and theological awareness similar to what Wiggins and McTighe called uncoverage, a curricular term that means to “bring to the surface and bring to light the misunderstood, the subtle, the nonobvious, the problematic, the controversial, the obscure, the missing, and the lost.”1 Our task is simply to take the idea of family, a term that’s often overgeneralized and misunderstood, and breathe new theological and theoretical life into it, for those whom we are teaching.
The second challenge is less academic and perhaps a bit unusual. For all of us, the topic of family is personal. I am conscious of how my own experiences as a child, parent, and counselor to others have shaped my view of the world. When I teach, speak or write about family, deep feelings about family are often close to surfacing, because I am aware of the trials my own family has faced. For 12 years, Kelly and I endured a difficult—and at times hellish—parenting season. Then, one November day, we experienced a dramatic answer to prayer; and in time, our middle child transformed into a delightful and thoughtful young man. As I write these words about reaching the family, I am conscious of a colleague who (despite godly parenting) has adult children who are not following Jesus. As we struggle with our own issues—face it, we all have them—God equips us to help others deal with theirs. Our past experiences make us strong supporters for those in our midst, friends, and parents of students in our ministries, who are traveling through dark territory that’s all too familiar to us. Quite simply, as we deal with our own struggles, God calls us forward into the lives of others to support, encourage, and pray with them.
As Christian educators and youth workers, we shouldn’t offer quick-fix categories that aren’t helpful, teach or say things that may not have biblical support, and miss the opportunities to listen well to others in community with us. When we teach and lead in Christian education and youth ministry, we must remember we are in the presence of a person who has been shaped in significant ways by his or her family, and that requires God-given biblical insights and great sensitivity.
1 Grant Wiggins & Jay McTighe, Understanding by Design, 2nd Edition, New York: Pearson Publishing, 2005, p. 102.
Terry Linhart, Ph.D., spent 15 years in full-time youth ministry in rural and urban settings before coming to Bethel College (Ind.) to teach in the ministry program, where he also serves as chair of the Department of Religion and Philosophy. He has authored numerous books and speaks and teaches widely. Connect with Terry via Twitter @TerryLinhart or visit his site at TerryLinhart.net.
