I don’t know if it was my wife or the smell of fresh-ground espresso that I fell in love with first. Whichever way it worked, my wife and I have shared countless lattes, mochas, frappuccinos and, consequently, late nights.
With steam rising to my face, my wife and I pledged we would create a relationship centered in vulnerability and honesty. Likewise, it was while enjoying an early morning with warm mugs in hand that my friends and I confronted our greatest doubts and fears, each asking ourselves, “Who am I really?”
One day while I was sucking down the remnants of chocolate stuck to the bottom of my mocha, it struck me: God has created in me a heart for the lost. Why not open an awesome coffeehouse where the lost will flock and where I can connect with these seekers, get to know their names, engage them in conversations, and pour truth into their lives as we teach each other? We could host open mic nights and local bands. We could have poetry readings and art exhibitions. We could have family reading events or movie nights for the teenagers. We could be the place!
It was with this dream in mind (and with a paper due at Denver Seminary) that my wife and I sat down to interview Tom and Diane Wisdom, the owners and operators of Wisdom Tea House in Monument, Colorado. The interview lasted only 90 minutes, but brought more clarity than six months’ worth of thinking and processing about my dream.
As we learned about how Tom and Diane transformed their own coffee house dreams into reality, we also learned unexpected lessons about economic burdens that impacted their finances, commitments that stole valuable time from their family, and interpersonal tensions that challenged their marriage. We learned their dream required many revisions before it came true.
Following this interview with the Wisdoms, I had a great respect for their work to create a welcoming place for others to gather. On the other hand, I was burdened and questioned if my dream was really a nightmare. I also wondered: Had I heard the voice of God as clearly as I once thought?
Strained Relationships
Tom Wisdon began dreaming of opening a coffeehouse in 1998. “I saw so many people who were interested in spiritual things, but not interested in institutional religion,” he said. “There has to be a place out there for these kinds of people!”
Tom left his successful engineering business to pursue the coffeehouse business. He took a position at a local coffee shop called Speed Trap in order to get a feel for the business. It was a unique, fun coffee shop run by a local man who loved the community and desired to pour into it. During this time, Tom created many friendships and relationships with the community. He began to see the potential in his coffeehouse dream. Through a series of events, he even was able to lead a coffeehouse outreach ministry session at a young leaders conference. At the same time, Tom studied at Fuller Seminary to gain knowledge and experience for ministry at the coffee shop.
As Tom was in practical pursuit of this dream, Diane was further behind in getting on board. In time, their diverging dreams would lead to tensions and conflict in their relationship. In time, Diane embraced Tom’s dream, but one of the primary insights my wife and I gained from the Wisdoms was that running a coffee house leaves little time for family.
Tom and Diane went as far as to compare the business to a 2-year-old. It throws its tantrums but wins your heart over all at the same time. As such, there needs to be balance between the success of the coffeehouse as a ministry and business side-by-side with family relationships. Unfortunately, without the hiring of assistant managers and staffing, the coffeehouse tends to take precedence.
The Bottomless Pit: Money, Time and Energy
Tom and Diane also detailed the endless amounts of money, time and energy that opening and running their business required. “Before you ever begin to commit to the coffeehouse, you must have very deep financial pockets,” said Diane. In order to make their coffeehouse stand out, to make it into the type of community center they (and we) were hoping for. That meant purchasing a property that could support community events. Outdoor space, miscellaneous rooms, a kitchen and dining area, plus space for Diane to conduct reading and tutoring were essential. Thus, a two-story house was purchased and gradually converted into Wisdom’s Tea House.
This conversion process took more than expected. “We thought, ‘This will be a piece of cake,'” said Diane. “‘We’ll paint the walls, clean the place up and be good to go.’ Not a chance!”
To begin, they decided to level the floors that sloped in their late 19th century building. This led to the doors being too short throughout the house. After this was fixed, they had to install central air, take out the chimney, create an attractive outdoor space by hiring an architect, stucco the entire exterior, purchase furniture, and finally paint the walls. Not only that, but halfway through the process, a coffeehouse opened across the street!
Already fully financially committed to the property, Tom and Diane had to scramble with some new ideas. They had visited some teahouses and decided this was their niche. More time and money was invested in attending a conference on tea supply and tea organizations. The money never stopped flowing out during the first eight months—before any money ever came in!
As the teahouse finally approached opening, reality set in that tea and coffee sales simply were not going to cover the budget needs. They needed to take on an additional financial burden by hiring a full-time chef to create a menu and run the kitchen. This meant the hip spot that was meant for 30-and-under’s was becoming a hopping lunch place for elderly women! The money invested, and the need to run a successful business meant changing their dreams and altering their plans.
As far as the time and energy commitments, Tom and Diane recognized the teahouse was running their lives. Upon opening in April 2008, the Wisdom’s dabbled in movie nights and community events and only dreamed of opening Diane’s reading and tutoring business.
The teahouse, with limited budget for staffing, meant they would have to pay somebody else or do the work themselves. More often than not, this meant doing the work themselves. From running the register to cleaning up after parties left, to running tea tasting classes and baking bread in the kitchen, the teahouse was taking all their time and energy. Open five days a week, as well as nights during the summer to harness the outdoor space, meant five days a week the Wisdom’s were putting in 10-14 hour days. Day number six of each week included working at the teahouse doing accounting, stocking and whatever other tasks needed to be accomplished. Sundays are off days. What this means, though, is two less days of income for the teahouse.
The Wisdom’s made it clear there’s no time left for life outside of the teahouse. They have been open for more than two years now, and are beginning to see some dim light at the end of the tunnel, where they possibly could hire more staff and an assistant manager to get some time off, though this aspiration has no timeline.
Coffee House ‘Ministry’?
To thoroughly dismantle the dream my wife and I had nurtured, Tom and Diane took considerable time to discuss the ministry that takes place at their teahouse. Tom’s (and mine) original drive for a coffeehouse or teahouse was outreach ministry—creating a place where we could connect with the lost and share conversation, creating a place where the community could gather—were having to be set aside.
The financial and time burdens of the teahouse required his and Diane’s attention. Two years into the teahouse, ministry looked nothing like what they had anticipated.
“What’s interesting is that I’m not the one doing the ministry,” said Tom. “We are providing a place where people come and feel like they can relax. It’s a place where they can forget about stresses and troubles and have really genuine conversations with each other.”
Tom’s passion for art, music and movie nights as ministry opportunities became an acceptance of his role as a stagehand. This meant he created a space with great tea and food, where people come and minister to each other. The power of this must not be underappreciated.
Tom and Diane consistently hear that their teahouse is a spiritual place. (In fact, some Christians who visit the teahouse, yet don’t know the owners, assume the name means it is a New Age business!) With many church attendees as regular customers and a multitude of one-on-one ministry experiences taking place at the teahouse, ministry is taking place, just not as expected.
Concerning his seminary degree and personal ministry, Tom is beginning to see some opportunities for ministry, also not as expected. He finds great ministry opportunities regarding his staff, though balancing business expectations with ministry opportunities can be difficult.
Second, as Tom has taken over being the face of the teahouse, he is finding regular customers; and after two years, he’s beginning to establish ongoing conversations with some of them. Diane still wants to open her reading/tutoring business in the future as a possible ministry opportunity. They are committed to the teahouse and anticipate ministry opportunities in the future.
My Broken (or Perhaps Rewritten) Dreams
As my wife and I drove back home from the interview, she asked me my initial thoughts in response to our time with Tom and Diane.
“I’m excited!” I said. “I think we can do this!”
I asked her what she was thinking.
“Were you in the same interview as me?” she asked, looking at me with confusion.
Here’s our current reality. Paying cash for our seminary education has left us with next to nothing to spare financially. Our 6-month-old son is about as far away from being out of the home as possible. We have only been married for four years and never have worked together 24/7. We value our time as a family far too much to allow it to be absorbed in a coffeehouse that we won’t be able to afford (in time or money) anyway!
“Well, sure,” I said, responding to my wife’s negative assessment of the interview. “Still, you have to think we could do this! Right?”
We sat silent the rest of the way home.
The conversation with the Tom and Diane did two things for us. It clarified the reality of the time and financial commitments involved in opening a coffeehouse. It also made it clear that coffee house ministry is a long-term, committed, involved experience. It means sacrificing one’s time and energy for the sake of outreach.
Does this have value? Beyond our comprehension! Are there other ways of accomplishing kingdom outreach apart from the burden of a coffeehouse? Does creating a space for ministry to happen accomplish our goals and dreams for our coffeehouse outreach ministry?
These questions loom large. Our answers to them are in the infant stages of development. For now, we are clarifying our life and ministry callings. My heart for outreach to the lost can be accomplished in many other ways than by personally owning a coffeehouse.
That’s why I recently accepted a position with Youth for Christ. We simply do not have the financial security to start a new business right now. Instead, by settling into a community, beginning to establish ourselves within that community and pouring love into these people, we can begin to share our vision for the coffeehouse with local churches and like-minded individuals.
Perhaps in 10, 15 or 20 years, we will have established enough respect and community graces to be supported financially through the first few years of our coffeehouse existing. We would be able to hire additional staff so our time commitments would not separate us. We could hire our son to work for us so we wouldn’t be spending our lives separated from one another.
Or we could have our dreams rewritten. I am nowhere near giving up on my dream of running a coffeehouse and trust that God can and will (if He desires) keep it in my heart and mind; although, I am accepting that right now is probably not the right time.
I am excited to have received an amount of clarification concerning my life in outreach ministry. In the end, the coffeehouse would be a great way to share truth with non-believers; but this also can be done by someone working as a barista, cook, laundry attendant or a bellman.
I have found peace and comfort knowing that God’s desire is for me to be sharing His truth in whatever size, shape…or flavor.
