I was in my fifth year of ministry and second year at a new church. My wife and I had been married for four years and had a 2-year-old daughter. The ministry was growing, we had been able to hire another staff member, programs were healthy, our adult leadership team was equipped and growing, and youth were engaging in ministry at every level. Things were going great!
Except that I wasn’t doing great. I was tired, grumpy and negative about ministry and the church. I was resentful of the time and energy I was giving. But I loved the ministry! I loved the youth, working with the adult team and doing the strategic planning with our leadership team! How could I be so in love with the work and ministry and yet have NO energy and enthusiasm to do it? What was wrong with me? Was I burned out? Did I not love Jesus enough? Was I not cut out or called to this vocation? Was I depressed? What was wrong with me?
I had heard quite a bit about burnout and that the average stay of youth workers was anywhere from 18 months to three years. After two years at this new church, I was thinking that maybe I was done. Maybe youth ministry had chewed me up and spit me out and that I was now just another one of those statistics; and to me at the time, that meant another failure, another youth minister that I couldn’t hack it in ministry.
So there it was! I was done…burned out and ready to jump ship! Until, I read an article about compassion fatigue. The concept was simple but different from burnout. With compassion fatigue, a person may feel depressed, lethargic, apathetic, overwhelmed much like the symptoms of burnout, but the distinction is that a person suffering from compassion fatigue still cares about the work and the people with whom they serve. They are connected to the mission and vision of their vocation, but they don’t have the energy, spirit or enthusiasm for it that had been there in the past. Being able to name what was happening for me was incredible freeing!
The solution for burnout is simple: move on, quit, find something else that restores meaning and purpose to life. Knowing that what I was experiencing wasn’t burnout opened up other options to me. I wouldn’t have to quit to feel better. I loved the ministry and was so glad that I wouldn’t have to leave to feel well and whole again. However, I would have to address the fatigue I was feeling in order to do the ministry in a way that was fruitful and life-giving for myself and the community in which I served.
So, I got intentional about structuring ministry in a way that supported my well-being and allowed the energy, passion, zeal and enthusiasm to return. I created a self-care plan. I started clustering meetings so that I wasn’t at the church or coffee shop or athletic event or theatre performance five nights a week. My family became intentional about going on our own retreats (this was amazing for me! A retreat that I wasn’t in charge of putting together!). I took a vacation with my family. We didn’t go anywhere special, I just checked out from the ministry for a week (in a couple of cases two weeks and in one case three weeks!).
I began to seek out professional growth opportunities, going to youth ministry conventions, workshops on ministry or adolescent development and spirituality. I got serious about a Sabbath day! I started networking with other youth workers (and not just in my own denomination). Together we supported each other’s well-being and self-care plans, challenged each other and pushed each other to grow in ministry and to step away to refresh and renew our spirts!
Thinking about a self-care plan made me wonder: Did Jesus have a self-care plan? Is it possible that the Savior of the world needed a self-care plan? When questioned about healing on the Sabbath Jesus asked, “Suppose one of you has only one sheep and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath. Will you not lay hold of it and lift it out? How much more valuable is a human being than a sheep! So it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath.” (
This passage set me up! I understood this passage for too long to mean that if ministry is to be done, the job isn’t finished until people are all healed, the good news is proclaimed, people are discipled and…This meant that if I was able to go to kids’ events, meet them in their world, lead more programming, do more ministry, go on one more retreat, etc., then I must do it because that is what Jesus would do.
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Then I realized something. I am not Jesus! There was only one Jesus, and I am not Him! While I am called to use my gifts to love and serve, Jesus was running a sprint because He was in a race against human time. The God of the universe entered from the limitless expanse of eternity to be confined by the chains of the human calendar. We, on the other hand (pun intended), are a part of the body of Christ. The hand of the body has a specific function and many limitations, and without the rest of the body working together the hand cannot do the work on its own. We are constrained by time also, but we are in this together with the rest of the body. We have strengths and limitations. We get to do our part, using our strengths and allowing others to fill in where we have weaknesses and limitations.
As you evaluate for yourself what needs to be in your self-care plan, ask yourself:
• What is life-giving in ministry and in your personal life?
• What is it that brings you joy, who are the people you enjoy spending time with and help build you up?
• What is life-sucking? What drains your energy? What makes it more difficult to do what you do? In what ways can you either delegate these things or do them differently?
• How do you recharge your batteries when you get worn down? Do you have a process for that? If you don’t, what would it look like?
You might also ask your spouse/significant other, family members, colleagues what they notice about these things in your life.
Helpful Resources:
The Compassion Fatigue Awareness Project
A free assessment for compassion fatigue.
To Weep for a Stranger: Compassion Fatigue in Caregiving by Patricia Smith
