Check in on them.
It’s easy for students to forget other people care about them. Checking in reminds them that you see them and care. If they tell you about something that bothers them, follow up later and see if the situation has improved. Whether they open up to you, you’re establishing consistent connection, which builds up trust.
Resist the urge to provide answers.
You don’t need to be an answer machine. Instead, sit with students in the tension of not knowing the answers. Having someone listen to their sadness and think together about their questions makes the process less bleak. Your presence and openness encourages students to keep looking for what they need.
Observe progress and affirm growth.
When depressed, students may feel as if life never gets better, even when their circumstances and coping abilities improve. When they show new maturity, you can help them notice their lives turning around, which gives them hope for the next time they’re overwhelmed.
Maintain healthy boundaries.
Talking about depression can be exhausting. Recognize when you don’t have the energy to help students with their problems. You can’t give what you don’t have; take time to recharge, and then re-engage with those hard conversations. If you’re able, help students create a support network of trustworthy adults to whom they can talk, such as small group leaders, family friends, or perhaps a psychologist if the situation warrants.
Don’t let depression define your relationship.
Have fun together. Talk about things you both enjoy. If you only talk about depression, your relationship will suffer. Create an environment where changes in students’ struggles don’t change how you relate to them.
Poet and writer Caitlin David has personal and ministry experience dealing with depression and observing its effects on relationships. She has worked with elementary, high school and college students in Sunday School, small group, youth group and retreat environments.
