I hear the slight crack in your voice as you stand on stage and bravely introduce yourself. I know it is scary. The eager faces of the congregation are both encouraging and terrifying, as you brace yourself for the unknowns of the journey ahead.

I feel your anxiety those early weeks as you carefully prepare your message, pick up random materials from the dollar store and set up the snacks, drinks, chairs– all the while wondering in the back of your mind if anyone is actually going to show up. As you see those first few students enter, I hear you release that breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding.

I see you fighting back tears as you sweep the floors after everyone has left. I know the evening didn’t quite go as smoothly as you had hoped. The wary students are skeptical and sometimes downright mean. You might be their second or third youth pastor in a couple of years and they’re not sure you are worth investing their time in just yet.

I hear your hopeful tone as you ask a church member to join you in serving the youth, all the while knowing the high likelihood that you will be turned down once again. The weight you carry each week without others to share the burden with is getting heavier by the second.

I feel your deep pain the first time you receive an angry email from a parent who is heartbroken and disappointed. I know your desire to help each family is so strong and yet your inability to be all things to all people is also very real.

I sense your discouragement as you notice the students who haven’t shown up in a few weeks. You know deep down that you can’t force a teenager to do anything unless they choose to do so on their own. Yet, like the shepherd in Jesus’ parable, you lay awake at night wondering how you could have prevented each lost sheep from wandering away.

I also notice you trying to hide your complete shock the first time a student comes to you for advice. I hear confidence building in your voice as you invite a new leader to join your team and they agree to give it a shot. I see you locking up after a lively youth event, bone-tired and eyes bloodshot, but riding an unparalleled high, energized by the relationships that are growing and the momentum that is building.

You are not alone. The ups and downs of stepping into a youth leadership role are some of the greatest peaks and valleys ministry has to offer. There is nothing quite as exciting as seeing young minds starting to open up to Christ and nothing quite as discouraging as watching a young person leave their faith behind.

I want to remind you that this is good, important, kingdom-shaping work you are doing, even if it feels like herding cats most of the time. The safe place you help create for these young people may be the only safe place some of these students have experienced. The time you spend rearranging your schedule to drive across town for a basketball game will make a that student feel more loved than any amount of Instagram likes ever could.

So while you bend over backwards to demonstrate God’s love to your students, remember first and foremost, you yourself are also so very, very loved. Every time you second-guess a hard decision, be reminded that God’s love for you is not dependent on the success of your ministry. You are God’s beloved son or daughter. You will never be perfect, but you always have been and always will be loved.

Yes, you will have many difficult and discouraging days in this role, but you will also have many joyful, awe-inspiring moments when you see God show up and use your flaws and brokenness to make a difference in a young person’s life.

You are far more loved than you could ever imagine and remember to give yourself a lot of grace. You are doing hard, life-changing and soul-altering work.

Sincerely,

Someone a little further along on this crazy journey