Do you know who you are? Most of us know the pat answers to this question. We share them regularly in our teaching and counseling; but in our heart of hearts, what is the truth for you?

Having worked with thousands in ministry and missions during the last decade, I am convinced it is the most important question for Christian leaders today. It is amazing that we can teach one thing to others and believe something else for ourselves.

Grace is our message, but our lives are performance-based. We teach God’s unconditional love, but we doubt how He really feels about us. Self-rejection runs rampant among those in ministry. Henri Nouwen wrote, “Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the ‘Beloved.’”

You are the beloved child and the choice servant of the Most High God. To understand—and own—our identity is a crucial part of our soul care. Do not let any person or circumstance rob you of who you are.

Chuck Swindoll tells the story of Anne Morrow in his book Seasons of Life. The daughter of the U.S. Ambassador to Mexico, she was shy and delicate. Then she met and married Charles Lindberg, the first man to fly across the Atlantic Ocean. Anne could have faded into her husband’s shadow, but his love for her would not allow it. She became one of America’s most popular authors and a greatly admired woman. Why? Her husband’s love. Here are Anne’s own words:

To be deeply in love is, of course, a great liberating force…I was no exception to the rule. The sheer fact of finding myself loved was unbelievable and changed my world, my feeling about life and myself. I was given confidence, strength and almost a new character. The man I was to marry believed in me and what I could do, and consequently I found I could do more than I realized.

If the love of another human can be so powerful and freeing, what should the love of God produce in us?

Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.”

Psalm 139:13 “For you created my inmost being…I am fearfully and wonderfully made…all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.”

Scripture declares God’s love for us repeatedly. The reality of who loves us and how much He loves us should change everything. So, why doesn’t that change us more than it does? Why do we doubt God’s love for us—in our inmost places?

Wounds, lies and painful memories often keep us from owning what we know and believe intellectually. People and events have left deep scars in most of us. Words and actions—some intentional, some unintentional—have cut us to the core.

You’re stupid. You’re fired. You’ll never measure up. What’s wrong with you? We carry so much garbage inside that we cannot believe or hear what God so desperately wants us to know.

This next month as you read the Word, skip over the “to dos” and focus on what God has to say to you and about you. Be still and listen for what Nouwen called “the sacred voice that calls you the ‘Beloved.’”