What do you do when you encounter someone who isn’t like you? How do you feel? What goes on inside you? How do you relate to him or her?
Few skills are more necessary than learning to express love and respect for people who look, think, believe, act and have a different worldview than we do. We should want to adapt to the barrage of cultures around us while remaining true to ourselves. We should want to grow so we can be part of changing the world. One of our deepest desires should be to love others in spite of cultural differences and express love for humanity.
Relating lovingly to others is central to what it means to be human. When it comes down to it, the core of Christian ministry is interaction with all kinds of people in ways that allow them to see Jesus in us.
The billions of people sharing planet Earth have so much in common. We’re all born. We all die. We’re all created in the image of God. We eat, sleep, persevere and care for our young. We long for meaning and purpose, and we develop societies with those around us.
However, the way we go about the many things we have in common is deeply rooted in our unique personalities and cultures. So, although we have much in common, there is as much or more about us that’s different.
Asian, European, tattooed, clean-cut, male, female, old, young, Pentecostal, emergent, Republican, Democrat, rural, urban—such differences are where we find our greatest challenges and our greatest discoveries.
As the world becomes more connected and accessible, the number of encounters we have with those who are culturally different are growing daily. Most of us are more comfortable with people like ourselves, but seeking out and loving people of difference is challenging. Therefore, learning how to reach across the chasm of cultural difference with love and respect is becoming an essential competency for today’s ministry leader.
Cross-Cultural Training
Most resources addressing cross-cultural communication and behavior emphasize what we need to know (information) and how we need to act (behavior). Those are important priorities for cross-cultural interaction, but they aren’t enough. Often we learn about another culture we intend to visit, but when we arrive and encounter dissonance, we abort the knowledge we gained, regressing toward what’s comfortable. Also, two people can experience the same cultural training, yet perform differently when engaging in cross-cultural relationships. Ultimately, transformation from within is what’s needed most.
Cultural Intelligence takes a different approach than traditional resources. Drawing from what can be known and venturing on an inward journey, we simultaneously reach across the chasm of cultural difference.
A cultural intelligence quotient (CQ) measures the ability to reach across the chasm of cultural different in loving, respectful ways. CQ is a measurement and metaframework that draws from many disciplines. Cultural intelligence includes synthesizing information about other cultures and what they value with knowledge of ourselves. This is as much about discovering our own identity and understanding the culture of which we are a part as it is about understanding others and their cultures. As we widen our view to include what’s going on within us, we will be able to interact more lovingly with our neighbors and the indigenous workers with whom we partner across the ocean. Our primary destination on this journey is learning how to express love effectively for people unlike ourselves.
Encountering ‘The Other’
Adapting our message, curriculum and programs is one thing; adapting one’s self is the greater challenge, but is the issue we’re most interested in pursuing on this journey together. What does it look like to contextualize ourselves in the cultures in which we find ourselves at any given time? What do we do when we encounter The Other, and how do we react to him or her?
The Other is a concept developed by the German philosopher Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel and popularized as a way of referring to those different from ourselves. The markers of difference can be racial, geographic, ethnic, economic, ideological, etc. The term can sound pejorative, but it need not be as long as we remember everyone is created in God’s image.
Throughout this journey toward more effectively expressing love to The Other, we’ll explore the significance of seeing ourselves and The Other as expressions of God.
We encounter The Other in various ways every day; likewise, The Other encounters us. Clearly we can’t become experts about every culture we encounter as there are more than 5,000 distinct cultural groups in the world. Add to those the many subcultural contexts existing among various age groups and organizations, and the number of distinct cultures in which we minister becomes impossible to quantify.
How might we grow our cultural intelligence in order to reflect the love of Jesus in what we say and do as we encounter people who see the world differently than we do regardless of their cultural context? How do we become multicultural people while remaining true to who God made us to be?
A Love Expressed
That’s our destination. We’re on a journey from the desire to love The Other to a place where we effectively express the love of Jesus to people of difference. Be encouraged. The desire itself, along with the supernatural work of the Holy Spirit, provides the fuel we need to embark on this sojourn.
Stop and think about what group represents The Other for you. To which culture or subculture is relating the most difficult for you? In what context do the skills that usually come to you naturally feel incredibly awkward and strained? Jot down a few names or examples as we move forward in improving the way we love and serve.
There is security and stabilizion in being with people who view the world as we do. Laughing together about things we find funny; ranting together about pet peeves; and sharing an appreciation for some of the same food, art, hobbies and perspectives can be the ingredients for building serendipitous memories together. There’s nothing remarkable about enjoying time with people like ourselves, but to love and appreciate someone who despises the very things we value and vice versa is another story. The real mystery of the gospel lies in how we deal with those relationships of difference in a positive manner.
There may not be a more scandalous example of friendship than the one shared by Larry Flynt, Hustler magazine founder, and Jerry Falwell, the late founder of the fundamentalist Moral Majority.
On the day Falwell died, many news pundits brutally critiqued his life, but Flynt said: “My mother always told me no matter how much you dislike a person, when you meet them face-to-face you will find characteristics about them you like. Jerry Falwell was a perfect example of that (principle). I hated everything he stood for, but after meeting him in person, years after the trial, Jerry Falwell and I became good friends … I always appreciated his sincerity even though I knew what he was selling and he knew what I was selling.”
Not to set up Falwell or Flynt as role models to follow, there is something beautiful about Flynt being able to call Falwell a “good friend.” When the gospel comes up close—face-to-face—something mysterious happens. Many disciplines are interested in cultural intelligence: The business world is tapping into research to become more successful in culturally diverse markets; government officials are being trained in cultural intelligence to increase their odds of “winning” in opportunities in foreign settings; and educational institutions want to know how to accomplish learning objectives among students who come from various cultural backgrounds.
Cultural intelligence could have no better home than the Christian faith. Sadly, Christendom itself often has brought about some of the most notable examples of cultural ignorance. Missionaries have gone into foreign lands insisting locals adopt dress, use music and build churches that mirror their own. Older generations have shamed younger generations for the use of “inappropriate” music in worship. Furthermore, one of the saddest realities is that Sunday morning is the most racially segregated time of the week in many American churches.
Some of the worst controversies entangling churches and ministries today revolve around contextualizing the gospel to various subcultures. What aspects are up for grabs, and which ones aren’t? Ministry leaders are called to face many realities in contextualizing the gospel to culture. Instead of perpetuating unloving, disrespectful interactions in cultural contexts, the church can lead the way in expressing love across the chasm of cultural differences.
CQ as Pathway
Ultimately the answer is “love.” Jesus synthesized all the teaching of the law around the greatest commandments, “Love God. Love others” (
Cultural intelligence is a pathway to help us along the journey from desire to action—the bridge that helps us more effectively express and embody Christ’s unconditional love despite differences.
