We see over and over again in Scripture the importance Jesus places on interpersonal relationships. Titus 2:3-5 specifically targets women’s relationships with one another. Paul encourages the young pastor Titus to identify qualified older women who could and should teach and model godliness to the younger women in his church body: “Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind; and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”

Many of the young women with whom I work are craving some sort of mentorship — someone who continually speaks truth into their lives and who will guide them in a direction that leads to abundant life. It’s interesting our lack of women who are willing to mentor younger girls. Women often feel unqualified, bewildered and fearful of over-committing. What does being a mentor look like? What does it take to mentor a young girl or younger woman? Perfection? Formal training? Being a mother or grandmother already? No. The answers are simple: a heart for God, a little life experience, a love for God’s people and a heart to see the kingdom of God advance as a result in some time spent with younger women. It doesn’t take a Bible scholar, psychologist or youth pastor.

When I first became a believer at 15 years old, I was convinced the woman who led my small group for high school girls was the assistant to the Holy Spirit. I spent many nights at her house with her family, laughing, crying and learning. God used those experiences in those fragile years when she poured her life into mine and turned them into something wonderful. As a result, I model my mentor-ministry style after her. It’s not the only way I know, but it is the best way I know. The model is simple: sharing life together, inviting younger women to walk with me through my life as I walk with them through theirs. It means consistently pouring into them no matter the trial or season of life, just as Kathryn poured into mine.

When I was receiving my call into full-time ministry, I gained another mentor. This woman is wise. She means business, but has a tender heart. She has walked with me through the past five years of my life as I have attempted to navigate the sometimes treacherous streams of ministry. She is not afraid to tell me the truth, tell me when I’m wrong, hug me when I cry and hold me accountable to the things I say that I will do. Both of these women are untamed when it comes to making sure I’m living the abundant life to which Jesus calls me. As a result of their love, I have a strong desire to do the same for the students with whom I work on a regular basis. I’ve learned that in order to be an effective leader or mentor, I have to be mentored, as well.

When training our volunteers in ministry, my prayer is always that they will move beyond being a chaperone and into being a leader or mentor. My specific prayer is that they will catch the vision and see far beyond Sunday night ministry and develop a desire to see students grow in their relationships with the Lord as a result of their relationships to each other. Key volunteers in our ministry have done just that. Middle school girls now see one of our volunteers as their own personal pastor, as she consistently pours into them on a weekly basis, checks in with them and knows the ins and outs of their daily lives. The same is happening with our high school girls — two women consistently pouring into them, knowing them, going to their volleyball games and school plays, and grabbing coffee to catch up if it’s been too long, which is usually no longer than two weeks!

Good mentoring goes far beyond coffee dates and volleyball games. It has an eternal value. Good mentoring or leadership is about creating a legacy of faith. I can safely say that as a result of God’s work in Kathryn and Nancy’s lives, my life is different. My prayer is that as a result of God’s work in my life that through Becky’s, Kristy’s and Jess’ lives, the lives of our students will be different.

So today, I leave you with a few questions: 1) Are you being mentored successfully? (If your answer is no, why not?) 2) Who are you pouring into? 3) Are you effectively assisting your leaders who pour into your students?

Remember what Paul teaches us in Titus 2. Mentoring is not an option.