Sex among teenagers is old news, unfortunately. But a growing number of parents are learning that something has shifted in our culture over the last couple of decades. Increasingly, girls are aggressively pursuing boys—in high school, middle school, and even earlier—in numbers we never saw in the past.

The rules have changed, and many parents are asking for help in how to protect their young sons. This shift has caught them by surprise, and they don’t know what to do. As a youth worker, you are no doubt on the front lines of this battle.

A few years ago, I wrote a book titled Interviewing Your Daughter’s Date. I challenged dads to man up and take steps to protect the purity of their daughters. After that book was published, I heard stories about fathers who stepped up and had some great heart-to-heart conversations with young men. But what I didn’t expect were the messages from readers and FamilyLifeToday® radio listeners asking for help in protecting their sons from aggressive girls.

Here are some examples:
“We have three grown daughters and a 16-year-old son. You would think our family would have experienced plenty of aggressive behavior from boys toward our daughters, but nothing compares with what I see our son going through.”

“I have a 14-year-old son. He is contacted by girls all the time on Facebook and texts. One went so far as to take pictures of herself in scant clothing (in my opinion) and send them to him. This occurred without the knowledge of her parents and when my son was in seventh grade.”

“My 10-year-old son was enticed by another fifth grade girl via e-mail to open another e-mail account so I couldn’t monitor it. But I found it and canceled it. She is sending e-mail messages and e-cards to him and two of his friends in a love quadrangle that she’s brilliantly orchestrated.”

“I have two sons who attend public school. Recently, they were talking at the dinner table about the girls that grab their butts in the hallways. My husband and I were shocked. They said, ‘Welcome to public school, Mom!'”

“I have a 13-year-old boy, an 11-year-old boy, and a 7-year-old boy. All of them have been pursued by girls. I think what shocks me the most is the encouragement from the parents of the girls who mistakenly think it is ‘cute.'”

This is where you can help. As a youth worker, think of yourself as a coach. You know what types of challenges youth will face during the adolescent years; you’ve been through them yourself. You know that friends will tempt them, for example, to drink or to take drugs. They will be tempted to cheat, steal and lie, to look at pornography and to have sex. They will be faced with choices about how to deal with a bully or how to react when a fight breaks out at school. You can help coach them through these situations by teaching and training them in advance how to make the right choices.

However, none of this training will work unless kids understand that it is possible to withstand temptation and to deal with difficult situations involving the opposite sex.

On one hand, a guy hears about the values of abstaining from sex and withstanding temptation from his parents and the church. On the other, he lives in a culture where these values are rarely modeled and frequently undermined. Very few people are telling him that he does not have to give in to temptations—that it is possible to withstand the lure of sexually aggressive girls. A good starting point is to work with him to memorize key scriptures and to understand the principles they teach.

Help him internalize these truths:
1. The Scriptures can help him keep his way pure. Psalms 119:9-11 tells us, “How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.

2. He can withstand any temptation. 1 Corinthians 10:13 tells us, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

3. God gives courage to face our battles. Joshua 1:7-9 reads, “Only be strong and very courageous, being careful to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success wherever you go. This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Your young men’s faith will correspond to how well they understand and obey God’s Word. Memorizing key passages like these and others will help them draw upon God’s power in times of temptation.

For other insights on how to prepare young men to face the temptation of aggressive girls, pick up a copy of my new book, Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys.

Copyright 2012. Adapted by permission from Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys by Dennis Rainey.