“Above all things guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (
Her hands shook and her eyes roamed restlessly about the bus. I could tell she was agitated about something. I walked up the aisle of the bus and met the eager eyes of many teens as we turned the corner just one block away from arriving back at the church from a weekend retreat.
This particular girl asked me with a look of frustration and desperation, “Can I have my cell phone back now?”
Most youth workers can relate to the battle against cell phone dependency and the symptoms of withdrawal that come when we limit or ban cell phone use during a weekend youth retreat or mission trip.
For years and years, teens have been signing off on parent permission slips and trip expectation forms banning the possession of such contraband as drugs, alcohol and weapons. Few ever dared protest the ban on these. I mean, come on! Why would drugs, alcohol and weapons ever be appropriate on a spiritual retreat?
However, youth pastors recently have been so bold as to add another item to the list: cell phones.
The first time I enforced the “No Cell Phones” rule on a retreat, I was met with a good amount of protest, complaints, crusty looks and outright defiance.
“It’s for your own good,” I told them.
“Disconnect from life back home in order to reconnect with God.”
“Why not engage the 50 people sitting around you on the bus instead of the one person you’re texting?” And so on…
Most of us know that disconnecting and giving ourselves a true escape from the people, projects and worries of home is good and healthy for the soul. Even our students get it and know deep down that this is true and good.
By the way, our youth group has adapted well to this policy, and I’m proud to say it wasn’t even an issue on our most recent trip.
I was having lunch with a pastor friend of mine the other day. He told me of his recent enforcement of the “No Cell Phones” policy at a mission camp this summer. He said many students were absolutely furious. Many gave their phones up reluctantly and then had a negative attitude the rest of the week.
What makes teens guard these little devices so ferociously? Why is it such a violation to ask them to give up a small piece of personal property for a weekend retreat or weeklong mission trip?
What do cell phones represent to teens that make them such personal treasures worth guarding and protecting like a mama bear protects her cubs?
With these thoughts floating around in my head, I blurted out a provocative statement to my pastor friend across the table that struck us both as…well…something worth pondering. I said: “Many teens will give up their virginity easier than they’ll give up their cell phone.”
Put another way: “Many teens seem to guard their cell phone with more care and determination than they guard their virginity.”
I know this is probably an overstatement, even offensive to some; but is it completely off track? Is there any degree of truth to this shocking comparison?
If we’re honest, we’ll admit the things we guard and protect are the things we value and treasure most. The things we protect less and give up without a fight are the things we value less. So, why do teens guard their cell phones so carefully and often play around so casually and recreationally with their sexuality? This is a lamentable reality that all youth workers must be vigilant to address continuously with our teens.
I believe a part of that message must be: You can toss your cell phone out the window and simply purchase a new one the next day. Sure, you’ll have to spend some time gathering all your contacts and numbers to reprogram. Conversely, if you give up your virginity in the heat of the moment this Friday night, you’ll never get it back. That particular personal contact always will be programmed into your memory, and you’ll never be able to erase it completely.
So, let’s loosen our grip on our cell phones and tighten our grip on our God-given gift of sexual purity. That’s a treasure truly worth guarding!
