Not too long ago, I was flipping through the cable channel guide and found two movies playing on different channels. One was 50 First Dates and the other, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. It struck me funny that movies about the beginning and end of dating relationships were playing concurrently.

It seems it is something like that in youth ministry. It is rare that I hear anyone say, “I wish qualified, willing, self-motivated, teachable, van-owning people would stop calling me to volunteer to be youth workers. I have all the help I need!”

OK, I never have heard that.

Almost every youth ministry needs more volunteer help. On the other hand, it is not uncommon to hear a leader say a volunteer is somewhat counterproductive, and it would be better if they were working in another ministry—maybe even in another town.

Though my context is the local church, I hope some of the principles are applicable to a parachurch or other ministry, as well. However, before any lists or “how tos,” stop now and pray. If you need to deal with volunteers, either coming or going, the best idea possible is to seek God’s heart about what you have in mind.

Why Do We Need Volunteers?
Youth ministry cannot exist without adults. In the 1997 book Reaching a Generation for Christ, Mark Senter and Richard Dunn proposed a number of principles — axioms — that are foundational to youth ministry. Among them were:

Youth ministry begins when a Christian adult finds a comfortable method of entering a student’s world.

Youth ministry happens as long as a Christian adult is able to use his or her contact with a student to draw the student into a maturing relationship with God through Jesus Christ.

Youth ministry ceases to take place when the adult/student relationship is broken or no longer moves the student toward spiritual maturity.

We need adult volunteers throughout our ministry. Most youth ministry leaders intuitively know they cannot maintain an infinite number of relationships. The most talented youth workers on the planet cannot keep up with more than about 30 students, and even then is only possible if the students are relatively alike. With diverse backgrounds, personalities, schools, family life, age and gender, it is a reasonable assumption that a varied group of adults is needed.

Who Are Our Adult Volunteers?
I liked Senter’s axioms, so I jotted down a few of my own.

You can have as many different ministry initiatives as you want as long as you have a motivated and skilled adult to lead each one.

Small groups led by volunteers free a youth minister to focus on the big picture of investing in students and adults.

Recruit your volunteers from among a number of groups, such as existing youth workers who might like to try another ministry position, parents of youth, parents of preteens who soon will be in the youth group, single adults and grandparents.

A volunteer who is rightly motivated will not object to background checks or other checks and balances designed to protect students.

Training and communication are essential. Quality volunteers are motivated by both.

The Secret of the ‘Ask’
So we have identified the why and who of volunteers. What about the how? How do we ask people to serve?

Most of us know there are some ways not to ask. The paradox of volunteers is that we cannot ask just anybody to work with students. It is not advisable to put a classified ad in your church newsletter, bulletin or on a Web site, which might portray working with teenagers as a job that can be done without commitment of time and emotion. I wouldn’t over-spiritualize the conversation by saying God revealed their name to you in a dream—unless it is true. Guilt and manipulation are not good motivators.

Good enlistment is crucial. Careful and prayerful consideration of the best people to serve in student ministry has to trump the pressing need to get a warm body in front of the seventh grade boys. It is likely the person you feel would make a good youth volunteer is already busy. Yet, they are motivated when they feel like their gifts and abilities would be an investment in lives of teenagers. When Jesus called the disciples, He didn’t promise them a good time—He promised to make them fishers of men.

Tips for Enlisting Volunteers
Here’s my short list of things you should do when you’re seeking youth ministry volunteers:

Generate excitement about the mission;
Set a positive example;
Establish and work toward goals;
Communicate accurately the job you want them to do;
Match the giftedness of individuals with the ministry job where there is a need;
Be sensitive to the needs of people, but create an environment of commitment;
Be known as a person who does not waste others’ time at meetings; and
Affirm good work.

Just Get Yourself Free
Now the tough part. How do we disengage volunteers who no longer are effective, who are teaching crazy doctrines, burned out, or are creepy to the students? Maybe you’ve heard rumblings of concern. Maybe group attendance has declined. Perhaps you’ve observed the volunteer acting questionably. It might be tempting to take Paul Simon’s advice from the song, “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover”:

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free.

When you realize there might be a problem with a volunteer, the worst but easiest option is to ignore it. As difficult as it is, the volunteer needs to be retrained or relocated.

Before approaching the volunteer, pray. Seek wisdom. Do your best to make sure a personality conflict or style issue is not at the root of the problem. Speak to someone you trust (perhaps the pastor) about your intentions, asking for help in remaining objective. If you still feel like a change needs to be made, make an appointment with the volunteer.

Begin a conversation with a specific outcome in mind: that a change needs to be made. It will help if you have considered all possible options. Of course, the best outcome may be disengagement, and if so, follow through. These conversations can get emotional. Maybe the person has been waiting for someone to provide a chance to move on. In some cases, the person has no sense of the problem, which can make for a tough conversation.

Regardless of the conversation outcome, it is important to remain redemptive. Even if the person reacts badly, you can remain a presence in his or her life. As difficult as it is to disengage a volunteer, the alternative is to ignore a problem, ultimately affecting the ability to minister to students.