“Here it comes!” my mom said to the three of us sitting in the back seat. The challenge was the same each time. As soon as the car hit the edge of a bridge, we would hold our breath to see if we could make it all the way across to the other side. My mom looked back again, “Don’t give up; you can make it!” she said as my little brother started turning a strange shade of red.
In an odd way, I do this same thing every year in my middle school ministry. After a long three-year faith journey with our eighth graders, it’s time for them to cross the bridge from middle school to high school. I hold my breath and hope they don’t give up, and I pray they make it across into high school ministry, continuing their journeys.
While students actually transition into the freshmen year of high school each fall, they begin thinking about that transition much earlier than we often suspect. Bridging the gap between middle school ministry and high school ministry is a year-long process that I believe starts in December of the eighth grade year. The transition continues through December of the ninth grade year. All the while, eighth graders are morphing into freshman and are trying to figure out the faith thing along the way. Should they check out? Stay connected? Remain physically present but intellectually absent?
Faith for the Journey
Many of us begin talking about this transition with students late in their middle school careers; but if the research holds true, our ministry models must change. Young people no longer are accepting or rejecting faith by the end of high school. Rather, the bigger percentage of young people is doing so by the middle of their freshman year. While a lot of research has been done and many great resources have been dedicated to the transition from high school into college, little has been dedicated to the transition out of middle school. Could it be that youth ministry has missed out because we have focused on the wrong transition? While we hold our breath and hope for the best as our youth group kids cross the bridge into college, could it be that we’re seeing a smaller group make that transition because so many never made it across the first big bridge into high school?
When I think of this transition, Taylor comes to mind. He is a prime example of a student who thrived on the middle school side of the bridge, but struggled as he crossed into his freshman year. He was mature and musically talented. During the middle school years, he not only joined the band but by eighth grade had replaced the adult leading worship each week. He was well-liked and a natural leader. His eighth grade year, I chose to mentor him personally and build a discipleship relationship with him.
Then came the end of his eighth grade year and the big transition into ninth grade and high school ministry. Similar to many in his class, he did not want to leave. The transition for him was more difficult than normal because he had developed strong memories and relationships and had grown so much. What lay on the other side was unknown, due to a high school ministry that lacked connection and contact with those in middle school.
Building a Strong Bridge
Taylor thrived throughout middle school. Strong adults such as his small group leaders, worship team leader and senior citizen prayer partners all spiritually supported him; peer relationships shaped and challenged him; his hunger to study God’s Word had formed a strong foundation under him that would help carry him into the future. Most significant of all, he began to discover God’s calling and purpose for his life. What made the difference for Taylor?
Supports (Strong Adults)
In order to build a great bridge, strong supports are needed that are going to remain solid no matter what happens. The bridge of transition needs strong support, as well. Ministering to students may land on our shoulders officially, but we should not attempt to be their sole support or do this by ourselves.
In our ministry we often say, “It takes a church to raise a child.” I have seen the success and failure of the transition repeatedly based on the strength or weakness of the adult supports around a young person. Strong adults are the supports who hold up the bridge of change. A ratio of five adults to one student successfully upholds a student’s faith journey. Parents, small group leaders, mentors, church prayer partners and Christian teachers and coaches all can join us to hold up the bridge.
In order to have strong middle school supports, we must strengthen our adults for middle school-specific ministry. Adult volunteers need to be given the nuts and bolts of how to minister to the middle school age effectively; this involves more than general youth ministry training. Consistent communication, a library of free resources, and regular parent gatherings not only will enable parents, but also equip them to give strong support to their child and the youth ministry as a whole.
Piers (Peers)
While adult supports are seen more obviously, underneath are the piers/peers, spanning the length of the bridge and providing support from below. In our ministries, we see friends acting as piers, keeping the supports in place. Friends and other peer relationships work beneath for the span of the middle and high school years. The friendships, dating relationships and other peer-to-peer connections hold so much importance for the bridge. While adults support and anchor both sides, in the waters of day-to-day life are students’ peers.
Our ministries are being done at a key point of youth development, helping to mature students socially. This is the time when students increasingly are choosing their own friends instead of parents choosing friendships for them. The greatest thing we can do is be there to teach, support and offer guidance regarding these friendships.
Peer ministries, especially at the middle school age, allow students to build stronger relationships. While programs and fun events allow students to spend time together, a student ministry team gives students the opportunity to act as piers for others their age, who also crossing the bridge.
Girders (Unchanging Truth)
The strength of a bridge comes from what supports the full structure, the girders, the strong beams that crisscross the whole structure. While unseen, they are the real bridge. The girders form the bridge of transition are what we all are called to gird ourselves with: truth. The bridge we build from one side to the other, supported from above and below with relationships, is held together by the girders of the unchanging truth of God’s Word.
The bridge of transition fails when it is based solely on programs and relationships. It must be based on the Word of God. Our roles as teachers of the Word give us opportunities to build strong bridges for our students.
Planning and coordinating with the high school ministry to create a ministry on either side of the bridge that systematically teaches for the transitions of life is essential. A multi-year scope and sequence of teaching that leads students from children’s ministry through the middle school years on into the high school years is a better bridge.
Road (Life Calling & Purpose)
On top of the girders, supported from above and below is the most important and final piece of any bridge: the road. The path across the gap is the reason the bridge exists so students can continue on their journeys unhindered by the murky depths below.
The middle school period is a time of discovery. The most substantial is the first true awareness of the road on which students are traveling. This season is more than just lessons and discussion, but involves empowering students to discover personal calling. Leadership opportunities, mission trips and service projects throughout our ministries are significant, but especially so during the final year when a clearer direction is being established. It is a pulling force to continue on across the bridge, while also being a driving force pushing forward.
One-on-one, in-depth discipleship will keep students focused on the road ahead. Through regular times of prayer and mentoring, they personally can begin to work through where God is calling them. We have the privilege to guide students in finding their callings and God’s purposes in their lives.
The Ninth Grade Side
Taylor was hesitant the first night of high school ministry. His reputation as a leader and outward appearance of confidence helped. However, during the next six months, he and the rest of his class struggled. They felt out of place, not sure if they belonged. The challenges of freshman year at school and in life took their toll. Inevitably, during the next few months, a large, thriving group of students began to dwindle. Taylor was one of the students who was still around after Christmas break.
Two things kept Taylor and the remaining few coming to the high school ministry. They slowly found places to belong, and they owned the community as a place to believe. While so many others in the group struggled in the first part of their freshman year, they finally were able to settle in and continue on into the high school years.
Finding a Place to Belong
We all want to know we belong. As students work to find their places, freshman year is especially hard. Everything is completely different from what they previously knew. High school ministry must be a different but familiar safe haven of belonging.
Through multiple contacts and connections by leaders and older students starting in early spring and continuing throughout the summer, new freshman need to know they not only are welcomed but wanted. A freshman event is great, but belonging is about genuine relationships and connection. Similar to the transition into middle school ministry, three contacts are needed. It is not just one programmed welcome event; rather, it takes multiple genuine personal contacts that say, “You are welcome on this side of the bridge.”
Finding a Place to Believe
The hard faith journey does not end with the completion of eighth grade. The larger percentage of students own a personal faith during the middle school year, but the final steps of solidifying belief often happen in the first six months of the freshman year. The things they have begun to believe will be challenged immediately in high school.
Freshmen need space and guidance when wrestling with their faith. High school ministry must reach across the bridge of transition immediately and hold on tight, inviting them to a safe place to question, challenge and continue to work through their belief at their various levels. Freshman-only times of discussion or teaching will allow them to ease into high school ministry topics.
Taylor stood on the church stage announcing his intentions to study worship at a famous Christian school. It was a proud moment for me as his former youth pastor, but it was also a moment of sadness. While there was a line of other graduates on the stage, he was one of a very small handful left from his eighth grade class after four years of high school. I looked at him, held my breath again, and prayed for the current group of eighth graders in the final steps of transition of crossing that same bridge in a few short months, knowing this time I had a clearer plan for their transition.
Dan Istvanik, a 20-year youth ministry veteran, currently is the middle school pastor at Burke Community Church, just outside of Washington, D.C. He is a writer for Parent Ministry.net and a variety of other great youth ministry resources. He also shares daily helps, hints and his other ran-dumb thoughts on his blog, TheJHUthGuy.com.
