The long call of Christians everywhere in every age has been to live faithfully to Christ’s teaching and example in the time and culture in which God has placed each of us. Because each age is unique, with different challenges and opportunities, this takes constant prayer, study of God’s Word, attention to the culture, discernment and obedience.
One of the great challenges Christians face today in American, Canada and most of Europe is what to do with homosexuality and people in our communities who identify as homosexuals. Simply put: What do we do with them? Do we accept them with open arms? Do we condemn and reject them? Or is there some ground somewhere in between?
These are important questions because they involve a very present and growing issue in our culture. As we explore and discuss how faithful Christians should understand this issue and any other social issue, we must establish our discussion on the two great commandments Jesus gave us.
“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself'” (
Our first allegiance is to God with every part of our being. Clear and direct. Our next allegiance is to love others. To care for them, think of them, encourage them and serve them as much as we do our selves. You can write both of these in the palm of your hand in case you think you might forget them. Simple, but profound.
This is our guide as we address the topic of homosexuality in the church. In loving God, our first question is: What does God have to say on the topic?
Actually, Scripture is quite clear. First, God’s ideal for sexuality and sexual practice is in a faithful marriage between a man and a woman. This is the first thing God establishes for the man and woman He created out of His love and grace.
God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”
You don’t hear this too often in Sunday School, but sex is the first thing God commands of His new God-imaging creations. This is because, obviously, human sexuality is very important to God. We don’t know precisely why or how, but we do know that it is. Both male and female alone reflect the very image of God in the world, and they do so together in their humanity, but separately in their existence as male or female.
As God says, it is not good for man to be alone (
So how do we love our neighbors? We accept them, we love them, we embrace them as friends and the beloved of God; but we do not love them by allowing them to live under the illusion that disobedience to God’s teaching is OK.
This goes for all of us who offend God through gossip, lying and slander. It goes for the proud, those who steal and the greedy. It goes for the selfish and covetous. It goes for all who are sexually impure. We must accept all people, but not necessarily what they do. It is not loving to let people assume that continuing in their sin is no biggie with God.
As all who enter the Church, we must allow God to heal all of us and help us repent of our sin. That is the business God is in with us—all of us. That often takes time. So we accept all who want deliverance from and forgiveness of their sin, but the church cannot allow anyone to rewrite God’s Word simply because something seems so natural and right to them. The very talented musician Jennifer Knapp announced she is in a long-term lesbian relationship but still considers herself a faithful Christian. She seems to be confused on this very point of what we are and what God wants from us. She told Christianity Today on 2010, “But there are people I care about within the church community who would seek to throw me out simply because of who I’ve chosen to spend my life with.”
It would seem she is seeking to renegotiate what God has said because of who she has chosen to spend her life with, and might she have being “thrown out” by the people she cares about confused with those very friends who are seriously and lovingly confronting and challenging her on her decision? It is their responsibility—because of their love for her—to do so. It is also their responsibility to do it lovingly, even if it might appear uncomfortable to the one being challenged. I feel that very way when my friends confront me on my arrogance.
It is vital to realize there is no sin in having same-sex attraction, of which there is no reliable evidence medically, socially or psychologically that people are “just born that way.” Likewise, there is no sin in noticing the physical beauty and wonder of members of the opposite sex; it is what we do with these feelings that are too often wrong.
A young man who lives with same-sex attraction has written a very important book Washed and Waiting, which explains how Christians can learn to live faithfully in the church with such feelings. He doesn’t deny his feelings or try to rewrite God’s Word. He calls believers to the heavy and difficult task of lovingly and painfully bearing one another burdens. Pretending that sin is not sin, whatever that transgression might be, is not how we do that.
We always embrace those—regardless of their story—who want to bring their sin and struggles under the forgiveness Christ extends to all who would bow to Him. We cannot embrace those who seek to rewrite what God has made clear. None of us has that right.
Stanton debates and lectures nationwide on issues of gender, sexuality, marriage and parenting; consultant on fatherhood issues for the George W. Bush Administration; regular contributor to National Review Online‘s “The Corner” and the author of five books.
