Nicole O’Dell
Kregel, 2012, 128 pp., $9.99
The Hot Buttons Series contain good reads, but the Addictions more than the Sexuality volume. I felt the one on sexuality left certain things in an area of “icky” without resolving the issue for the parents. O’Dell uses role-playing exercises to help her kids understand good and bad choices in the safety of the home before answering the same questions in real life. (I think this is a good idea and one that is used routinely in professional counseling.) She seeks to educate parents on hot button issues and then help them plan ways of dealing with these temptations.
In the volume on sexuality, she talks about myths such as insulation (keeping children out of the world so they aren’t exposed to any sexual messages or ideas before they get married—good luck with that). Peer pressure, physcial desire and media are potent weapons the adversary uses against us and our children.
The Game
She explains “The Game” very well. She aptly talks about the parents’ need to protect their kid, and the kids’ desire to hide what they know about sex from their parents. The only way to win this game is to open the lines of communication on the parents’ end so teens get what is going on and they feel more comfortable opening up. Hot Buttons is a great resource for parents and youth workers. In a culture where our students are faced with addictions and temptations every day, we need to know how to prevent, but also how to help. Hot Buttons identifies the temptations and steps we can take to help those who have fallen into them. This is why this book needs to be on every parent and youth worker’s shelf.
—D.J. Pittman, Youth and Family Minister, Branches of Christ
Hot Buttons‘ single volumes Drug Edition and Sexuality Edition is designed as a parent manual for conversations with teens. O’Dell comes from the storm and stress perspective of adolescence, but believes this can be avoided if parents provide teens with information and awareness. There is practical advice on what to avoid when having discussions with your teens, as well as encouragement to be yourself and to provide a consistent example for your kids. O’Dell also offers sample prayers, as well as awareness and warning signs for parents, making this section of the book a useful preventative resource.
Significant portions of the double-edition volume contains scenario games for teens and parents to talk through. Though the scenarios themselves are realistic, in reflection, half of the drug scenarios and at least two thirds of the sex scenarios come across as situations created by making relatively poor choices. Because this connection is never made, parents will need to do so. If they do not, they risk communicating that right choices somehow can be made despite internal desires and external pressure propelling bad choices. Additionally, the one-size fits all approach to the research results in some chapters merely switching out specific hot-button wording between editions. Chapters 12-14 are word-for-word identical to each other.
Bottom line: Parents need to be intentional about communicating hot-button topics with their teenagers, yet this particular volume comes across being more about rehearsing parental values in teenagers. Is this bad? Well, one aspect of adolescence is learning to make one’s own decisions and taking responsibility for them. This volume would be strengthened if it more clearly helped students make decisions rooted in alignment with Jesus Christ as they encounter hot-button issues. Knowing what your parents expect (and obediently doing that) will reduce the storm and stress of a household. However, parenting is more than helping kids choose right actions; it’s demonstrating and inviting our kids into a way of living rooted in Christ, the fruit of which is a life lived well.
—Brad Howell, on staff at Fuller Serminary and in final stages of earning his doctorate in Youth, Family and Culture, researching adolescent use of social media, Sacramento, California. Connect with Brad via www.Twitter.com@howell_brad or at Facebook.com/bradfrdhowell.
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