As youth workers, we are faced with difficult situations every day. Often, these situations require us to navigate unknown waters and advocate for students in times of crises. In an ideal world, these problems would be solved within the context of the family; however, there are many times that this cannot happen. Where else then do we go? One of the best places to go to is the student’s school, because there are many available resources there that are focused on benefiting the student academically, emotionally and socially. Collaboration between schools and youth ministries is easy to do and can greatly impact teenagers’ lives.
One evening at youth group, Lisa approached me with concerns about a friend in church. Lisa was worried because she thought her friend, Amber, was developing an eating disorder. After our discussion, I was left with a decision about the best way to handle this situation. I had several options at this point: My first instinct was to engage directly with Amber and her parents with a recommendation of counseling; or I could bring it to the attention of her school counselor, who would have access to more professional services and resources. Taking into consideration Lisa’s comments and concerns, and my personal understanding of the student’s family dynamics, I chose to contact the school counselor.
I met Lisa at school, whispered a quick prayer and walked into the administrative offices. I had been to this school several times, but I did not know any of the administration. We met with a counselor and Lisa was able to share her concerns about Amber. At the end of our meeting, the counselor promised to follow up with Amber, and I went back to the church. Later that day, I called and left two follow-up messages for the counselor regarding her conversation went with Amber and to offer further assistance. My phone calls were never returned. Realizing I was shut out of the situation, I modified my approach and contacted Amber’s family and learned she did receive the help she desperately needed, which was coordinated mainly through the school system.
A few months later, I had another situation come up with a different student at church. I became aware of some issues the student was having with a group of peers in school and brought it to the attention of the principal. His parents were called into the school, and a meeting was set with the student’s counselor and the principal. Having brought the situation to the attention of the school, I was invited by the parents and the principal to be a part of the discussion. I was able to be an advocate for the student and a support to the school personnel. In the end, the situation was resolved positively. One main difference between this situation and Amber and Lisa’s situation was that I personally knew several of the principals and counselors at the school where this student attended and was a welcomed and integral presence. So, how can we as youth directors get to know our school administration in order to be active within all areas of our students’ lives?
Here are a couple of things I have found helpful in the past in order to build a relationship with a school district. Introduce yourself to school personnel at as many school-sponsored events as possible. It really helps if members of the administration see you repeatedly at sporting events or plays; it gives them a better idea of what you do. I also recommend having business cards handy when doing this (no, this does not mean you need to start wearing a suit). Another good option is to focus on your existing bridges into the school system. There likely are many parents you know who have established relationships throughout the school system; parents often have relationships with coaches and teachers and will be your best source for understanding this aspect of school life. Ask these parents to introduce you to coaches and to inform teachers about the youth program.
Become active in your school community. You can do this through serving on a school board, through a community organization or coaching an existing sports team. The key is to look for things the district currently supports so you can interact with school faculty and administrators. This may seem like a lot to take on because many youth workers already are overworked and underpaid. Consider asking your pastor if this could be considered part of your work week. Your pastor probably will be relieved that you are not asking to put Jell-O in the baptistry or launch water balloons off the bell tower that he or she will agree to anything. (While you are at it, consider asking for a raise, too!)
Another idea is to thank the school administrators regularly. You could show your appreciation by sending them Christmas cards, providing them with a nice lunch (great thing to get your kids involved in), Starbucks gift cards or some sort of gift, such as a fruit basket. As Michael Scott says, “Gift baskets are amazing. Gift baskets are the essence of class and fanciness. They are the ultimate present that a person can receive.” Administrators should be aware of your presence and your role within the community. They should know you support them without an agenda or goal and that you appreciate their hard work.
Pray for the school administrators. School Web sites list the names of administrators, so you can pray for one administrator by name each day. These professionals serve our youth in and out of crises everyday and they deserve and need our prayers. They are in this field because they love kids and want to make a significant impact on their students’ lives (does this sound familiar?).
It is also advantageous for youth workers to understand the hierarchy between administrators, faculty and staff. Schools can be large and are complicated entities to navigate for those who are unfamiliar with them. Some schools may have several counselors and several principals so it is important for you to understand how the school divides responsibilities. This division can be done in multiple ways. For instance, assistant principals frequently handle disciplinary problems, while school counselors intervene with social and emotional concerns; and school psychologists handle serious behavioral and learning issues. How you interface with these professionals may depend on the issue at hand. Additionally, support staff is generally your first line of contact and can direct you to the appropriate person.
You should become familiar with the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act laws. FERPA was enacted by the United States Department of Education to ensure students and parents the right to keep private their confidential and personal information. All schools that receive government funding (i.e., public elementary, middle and high schools) are federally mandated to follow FERPA regulations and to distribute information only to educational personnel. Becoming familiar with this law will help you understand a school counselor’s inability to give you information about a particular student and his or her family. The counselor’s inability to give you information is not a sign of unwillingness to partner with you; rather, their hands are tied by the FERPA laws and regulations. School counselors or administrators will listen to your concerns and act on appropriate information, but they cannot exchange information. So, readily share your concerns with school administrators because they are just as interested in youth as you are.
One of the most important things to realize is that realistically you can focus on building lasting relationships within only one or two school districts. Many youth ministries have students from several different school districts. It would be extremely difficult to follow all of these suggestions within multiple districts, so know your limits and focus on the one or two districts where you have the greatest opportunities.
When working with the school, you need to be patient and continually keep your focus on the best interest of the child. Many people in the school won’t have a clue what you do. Don’t take it personally and remember that it will take time to develop a relationship of significance within the school. The relationship, however, is worth the investment of your time because the school system has so many resources that can benefit your students. If all youth directors seek to build collaborative relationships with a school system, it will help us to be more effective shepherds as we care for our students. The Parable of the Talents, Jesus shares with His followers in
