Steve Arterburn
Zondervan, 240 pp., $14.99
In Is This The One?, Arterburn raises many areas of concern in the lives of couples looking to solidify their relationship in marriage. In a time when society’s divorce rate is climbing and feeling its effect on broken families, men and women in the church need to take a stand and help these couples as they make the most important decision of their lives.
Arterburn challenges all couples to three phases of dating. He introduces the take-a-break date, during which the couple mutually takes a break from seeing each other and goes on outings with 10 other people. These are not to be romantic dates, but attempts to see different people and see if feelings are swayed toward the other person.
The second phase is the agenda and holiday dates. These are dates with specific purposes and themes. They are designed to help one gain the perspective on another’s life through likes and dislikes, as well as experience common holidays stressors.
The final phase is premarital counseling dates. These are 10 dates centered on vital marriage topics followed by discussing these topics further with a counselor.
While I am not a fan of encouraging couples to take a break and see other people, I do feel phase two would be a good indicator as to whether they should progress further. I think Arterburn gives a great message about the need of accountability and honesty in the relationship by pointing out the future implications if a couple chooses to forgive and forget.
This is a great resource for college students or young adults looking for a committed relationship. This would not be a good resource for your students except for seniors who plan to marry immediately after high school.
