There, someone said it.

Now before you jump down my throat for the title of this blog, just listen.

Do I go to events we do and interact with students? Absolutely.

Do I mingle, pray for, and hang out before and after services? Definitely.

Am I starting to know the names of those who are on our patio before services? Yes. I am around, we go to camp, we have fun at events. Students are beginning to leave notes on my desk (which I love), and they are asking me to hang out.

But, the majority of time with students is spent with the guys I lead in my small group. And I am okay with that. After several seasons in youth ministry I’ve come to the realization that it’s ok not to try and hang out with all the students in our ministry. Here’s why:

I know what some of you relational types are thinking…“How can you ask me to give up my time investing and discipling students?” I’m not suggesting that you stop investing and discipling at all. I’m encouraging you to consider shifting who you’re spending a majority of your time with.

By spending the majority of my time with leaders I am modeling for them what I want them to do with the students. For our team, we train our leaders to invest into a small group of students and we know that if our team will invest in a small group, our students will have a few adults from our team speaking into their lives. This simple tweak multiplies our effectiveness.

I got into ministry to hang out with students. As ministries grow and as we want to help students grow most effectively and spiritually, we have to learn how to duplicate ourselves. This is the only way your students will feel connected with your ministry, it is the only way they will grow most effectively and spiritually and it is the only way for your ministry to grow in a healthy and sustainable way.

Looking back at my year, I have spent a majority of my time with our leaders. Do I spend time with students? Yes, every week in my small group. I’m getting to know the guys in my group the way I wish I could know all of the students who come on a Wednesday night.

Now I’m not saying to never hang out with students; that would be awful. But, there comes a point in our youth ministries where we have to zero in on the most effective practices for ourselves and our teams. That effectiveness comes when we answer these three questions:

• What will be healthiest and best strategy for my ministry as it grows? The best thing I can do for my ministry is to multiply myself.
• How can I get more buy-in within our adult volunteers? I can get more buy in when I invest in them like I want to invest in all my students.
• How can all of my students know they are loved, known and growing? Having adults own getting to know a group of students rather than all the students.

Even if your ministry is at a point where you can hang out with all your students right now, set yourself up for the future. As you grow, you will need to switch to this model to be more effective. The Andy Stanley quote that comes to mind, as I have been wrestling with this whole thing is, “Do for one for what you wish you can do for all.”