I substitute teach at our local junior and senior high schools to gain extra time with students, especially students who do not attend youth group. (The extra cash is handy, too.)

One day, I was having lunch with students in the lunchroom when one of my regular students, Ethan, came and sat next to me. We were just making small talk and making fun of another student of mine with their unorthodox approach to obtaining more food (i.e., begging girls to share their food with him).

Out of nowhere, Ethan asked me if I was excited about our second child being born. I emphatically told him how excited and blessed my wife and I are to have another child. Then he asked me a profound question: “Do you enjoy being a parent?” At first I was feeling a little defensive, wondering if I was not demonstrating love to my daughter or to my pregnant wife in front of my students. I shook off the feeling and replied that I feel so blessed to be a parent and love spending time with my wife and daughter. With eyes that showed me pain, yet joy at the same time, Ethan looked straight at me and told me that is the first time he has ever heard a parent be excited about being a parent.

My heart goes out to Ethan. We have had many talks about his difficult home life.

His stepfather recently died of a sudden heart attack, and his mother leaves him home to care for his two younger sisters almost every night so she can go out with friends. During my first year at the church where I presently serve, I took a poll of the 30 students in the youth group. Asking who personally has experienced divorce, 24 of the 30 students raised their hands. Only six students’ families are still together! Of the 24 who have gone through divorce, eight of those students have experienced multiple divorces. That night, my heart broke for my students.

“Servants in the church are to be committed to their spouses, attentive to their children and diligent in looking after their own affairs (1 Timothy 3:12).” It always has been one of my main philosophies in ministry that my primary ministry is to my family. So with newfound information from the divorce poll, I made a decision to communicate to the youth group that my first ministry is to my family. When I start regular youth group meetings after summer break, I share with the students that my family is priority over them, not because I do not love them, but because I do love them. I thought maybe I would get a few students who would give me a hard time about saying this, but I have not received anything but compliments from the students. My wife and I are constantly told by students that they want to move in with us because they see us love each other, work together and that we do not ignore our daughter around the students.

During this Valentine’s Day time, may you see your love to your family demonstrates a love that many students do not see. May your love to your family encourage and prepare your students when they have a family.

Chris Ensely is an 8 year veteran in ministry, and has been in Marion for 3 years. He has been married to his amazing wife Jessica for six years. Chris and Jessica have a 3-year-old daughter, Shaliah, and expecting are their second child to be born in late April. When not ministering to youth, Chris enjoys spending time with his family, working out, playing guitar and just being outside doing something fun.