Who are you? It’s a simple question, yet it’s one of the most difficult questions to answer.
There is no right or wrong answer; only an honest look inside yourself will result in a truthful and helpful answer.
More than Your Job Description
“A child of God” sounds good, but it’s a little too cheesy for my taste. John Wimber used to say he was just a “fat saxophone player trying to get to heaven.” (I may have to gain weight and learn to play the saxophone so I can use that one.)
We might be tempted to answer the question with “youth pastor.” I’m not saying that’s not truthful, but I do think who we are is often too dependent on “what we do” and causes us to base our well-being on only one aspect of our lives. Our emotional health can be compromised if our identity is overly defined by our jobs.
Many men gain much of their self-worth through their professions, but we pastors have a trickier line to walk because so much of what we do comes out of who we are.
When I am teaching or ministering to a student, I do so from my heart, out of…me. When someone gets mad at me for a decision I made, they get mad at me. This is a big reason why pastors suffer so much burnout. Because their identity is so tied up in their jobs, the emotional energy for the required task eventually runs dry.
Other professions don’t face this problem to the same degree. In most professions, one’s head and hands are the most important tools. Although the interpersonal component is still important, lawyers, doctors, plumbers and mechanics make a living using their heads and hands but more easily can set aside their work persona from their non-work persona. Pastors use their heads, hands and (perhaps most importantly) their hearts. So what do we do?
Keeping the Heart Healthy
The answer is not to bring a less passionate heart to your job; that’s not healthy either. The key is to keep your spiritual heart healthy. Just as the physical heart requires ongoing nourishment to continue working, so the emotional heart of a person needs nourishment. Two quick sources come to mind.
The first is simple and obvious, yet must be discussed. We must recommit ourselves to filling up at the well that doesn’t run dry. For many of us, especially if we’ve been doing youth ministry for a while, we minister mostly out of our flesh and giftedness. We’re busy. We’ve worked as pastors for a while now and almost run on auto-pilot. If you’re new to youth pastoring, my guess is you focus a lot on the busyness of your job and cut corners in your personal spiritual life.
Eventually we’ll all pay the price of a neglected relationship with God. A sincere, renewed commitment to relying on God especially through the spiritual disciplines is a must.
Second, you must have a life outside of ministry. You must schedule a Sabbath for yourself and not one where you check your email and text messages. For me, the best breaks include physically going to a different location and/or being in nature.
Hobbies are also important. You may not be able to afford to buy a sailboat like Bill Hybels did when he was on the verge of burnout, but something like that is what I’m talking about. As I write this, I’m rehearsing for a play. While that means I’m a lot busier than I would be otherwise, it also is so nourishing to me. Consequently, the time I spend working on the play actually feeds me in the times I’m doing youth ministry.
Do what refreshes you; and while you do it, remember that while youth ministry is more than just a job, it’s not the sum total of who you are.
