It’s springtime in America! The birds are chirping, the flowers are budding, and the Chicago Cubs are just about mathematically eliminated from the playoffs. All this also means it’s prom season, that most dreaded of seasons for those who work with youth. It brings with it all sorts of pre-prom drama (a.k.a. “prama”) about who is asking whom, and then the night itself often ends in regret for many. It’s one of my least favorite things for a couple reasons.
The first reason is because the expectation for what it means to ask someone to prom has changed dramatically, and I feel for the young men who must do the asking. Whether he is romantically involved with the person he’s asking, the guy is expected to concoct an elaborate plan to ask his date, including but not limited to things such as flowers, a serenade and a hot-air balloon ride. I tell my students that for my prom, I picked up the corded phone at my house—they can ask their parents what that is—called my friend, and asked her if she wanted to go. She told me she was hoping I’d ask—we were good friends—and we proceeded to have a great time. These days, a simple phone call is completely unacceptable, bordering on rude.
Then of course there’s the prom itself. Prom tends to be the “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” night of the year. There’s this unspoken assumption the two magic words “It’s prom!” make everything OK, as though what happens on prom night has no bearing on the rest of your life. Many parents have capitulated to this expectation and provide what they claim is a safe place (safe because they take away everyone’s car keys) in their basements for students to party after prom ends.
So there are a few things I recommend you consider.
Make It OK Not to Go
Some of you might work in ministries where most of the students attend private Christian schools or are homeschooled, so prom isn’t an issue for you. For the rest of us, people who either aren’t asked or don’t want to go need to feel affirmed. See if you or another leader can organize an informal gathering for those who aren’t attending. It will mean a lot for these students to have something to look forward to when their friends are at the prom.
Encourage Those Who Go to Be Salt and Light
Our students need to be challenged to look at prom in a different way. Some of them may need to see this prom mentality is not a God-honoring attitude. I use the analogy of battery acid. It’s generally understood that drinking battery acid is a harmful decision, 365 days a year. The fact the calendar reads a certain day doesn’t suddenly make a battery acid milkshake a good idea. Similarly, the fact that it’s prom doesn’t mean you should indulge your sinful nature, not even for one night. Saying no to sin and yes to God’s promises is always a good idea.
More than this, students need to see they can make a positive impact by their presence at their prom. The way they choose to dress can set a good example. The manner in which they choose to dance can honor God. The healthy activities they engage in after prom will make their night a memorable and a God-honoring one.
Having said all of that, if my daughter’s prom date doesn’t hire an airplane to sky-write “PROM?” above our house, she’s not going. A dad has to have standards.
