There is a quiet epidemic in our country—specifically in our youth ministries—and it’s a killer. The problem is there’s not an easy fix. It strikes unexpectedly, with little or no warning. Virtually no research money has been devoted to this phenomenon, and that needs to change. It goes by the acronym OLWS, which of course stands for Own Little World Syndrome. It seems mostly to affect two people who begin a dating relationship, at which point they immediately are taken into their own little world.

Suddenly, nothing else matters. You don’t see much of them anymore. Why? Because of OLWS. Perhaps you’ve suffered from this at some point in your life. What’s curious about this affliction is that it is only immediately harmful to those who are around the diseased, not to the diseased themselves. In fact, life seemingly never has been better for the victims! They aren’t aware of their malady. All they know is that “if loving you is wrong, then I don’t wanna be right!”

I’ve experienced it with students and with leaders, and it can be tricky. At its best, a case of OLWS can be a minor annoyance that the couple’s friends roll their eyes about—and is a normal part of most beginning relationships. At its worst, OLWS can remove the couple from your community, isolate them from their social circle, and be a major source of frustration. What can be done?

Preventive Measures
Some people go get a flu shot each fall with the hope of staving off the flu for the season. Similarly, there are some things you can do to stop OLWS before it starts. As you have opportunities to teach on the subject of dating, it would behoove you to offer advice along the lines of the following: “If and when you’re in a relationship, you may experience this desire to have your whole world revolve around your special someone. That isn’t a healthy way to date, because it isolates you and pulls you away from the community of which God wants you to be an integral part.” You could talk (jokingly) about the OLWS epidemic as a way to highlight the topic in a lighthearted way. Encourage couples who date to have mentors in their lives who can speak into their relationship, as well.

Treatment
Once a case of OLWS breaks out, it gets trickier, because along with OLWS comes a state of denial, and sometimes defensiveness follows. This leaves you stuck with the issue of how to help people who don’t want to be helped. So when someone tries to confront them about it, it’s normal for the couple to respond with, “You just don’t understand—we love each other.” The best response is for those affected to be as direct and specific as possible, while still being encouraging.

“We love you guys and know your relationship is very important to you—and that’s great—but we also really miss having the two of you around.”

In severe cases in which the couple perhaps has removed themselves completely from community, you may need to have something akin to an intervention with several participants confronting the couple in love. You’d want to bring parents into the loop on this, as well.

I heard this line in a movie recently: “Falling in love is a crazy thing to do. It’s kind of like a form of socially acceptable insanity.” Falling in love—and contracting OLWS—is a crazy, though normal, part of the relationship process. However, with a little care from the community, the insanity (or disease) shouldn’t last forever.