The First Time I Met Donny
Donny came up to me with one of those scrunched-up confused looks that is common to a 15-year-old male and said, “Are you that new church guy? I wanna ask you a question.” Without waiting for my answer, he said, “Is it wrong to kill a man?” Now I need to tell you that I was quite stunned. (I was used to answering questions such as, “Is there gelato in heaven?”)

I looked at him with a look that screamed, “Quick—run, man; he’s packing heat.” However, I regained my composure and said, “Ahh, yeah, it’s usually wrong to kill someone. What’s up?” He replied, “Well, my dad and I want to kill my mom’s dealer as we think he’s a scumbag for selling her heroin. Last night we went to his house, and my dad gave me a baseball bat. He took the crowbar and said, ‘You take the front door, and I’ll take the back door. The first to find him smashes him.'”

While I understood his pain, I sat down with him and explained that killing someone was not really the best plan whatever the motive is for feeling this way. It took some time, but I think he got it after a while. I need to admit I had ulterior motives, as well. I had just moved to the church, and it was a long drive to the nearest juvenile facility. I had planned to spend my visitation time in other ways.

Be Prepared: You May Be Entering Another World: After a long youth ministry stint at an upper-middleclass church, it was time to move to the other side of the tracks. I had been offered a job at a new church plant in an area not known for successful youth ministry. Imagine one part concrete jungle, one part welfare state, and one part blue-collar stronghold. It is in many ways a hopeless place full of kids whose only dream is to collect government handouts and maybe have a kid or three along the way.

Were there kids broken? You bet. Fifty years ago, the Australian government decided to create a satellite community that consisted completely of government-supplied housing. They plonked 40,000 people down and figured that as long as they were miles away from everyone else, all would be well. Well, Sydney grew up and soon surrounded the area. This neighborhood is characterized by chronic unemployment, relationship breakdown and a stoic acceptance of the harsh realities of life. My new suburb was a place filled with burned out cars, the ubiquitous rusty shopping trolleys lying on their sides and great-grandmothers in their 40s.

I had come with dreams of turning this desert into a lush field. I was not prepared for what I would experience. I wish my denomination had a training course for people such as myself. They could call it Jurassic Park 4: Winning the Lost World or something similar. In any case, I was not ready for what would hit me. Every young person I would meet would have problems—serious problems. I suddenly was confronted with kids from tragic circumstances and very little hope. We had all the problems that produce at-risk young people: drug-addicted parents, parents in prison, chronically unemployed families, malnutrition and the list continues.

If you find yourself in my situation, be prepared. These kids will take time, patience and buckets of emotional energy.

The First Time I Met Sean
Sean reminded me of a cornered animal. The first time I met him, he was in his last year of high school and had just punched a 6-year-old in the stomach. “No one ever touches me.” He said as he glared at the youngster. “Well, why were you playing tag then?” I asked him. He just looked away. As I got to know him better, I began to realize more and more why he was the way he was. Whenever he did something wrong, his mother would glare at him and say, “Remember just exactly who you are young man; you’re the product of a one-night stand gone wrong.” That tends to mess with your mind a bit.

One night after a Bible study, Sean went to use my washroom. When he came out, I notice he had large wet patches on his pants. I went into my bathroom to find urine all over the toilet seat and covering the floor. There was so much that I had to clean it up with a mop. I immediately learned my next lesson in ministry to these young people. I found out that most of them were never taught some of life’s simplest tasks. Another parting of the curtain. I realized they needed a dad, as well as a Bible study leader. That next week, we instituted a new segment to Bible study titled “Lessons for Life.” We covered topics such as avoiding constipation by eating the right foods (a common problem in the area), how to brush your teeth, how to get a job, how not to make a mess in Ken’s bathroom.

I quickly realized I had a new portfolio: Tthese kids needed something they’d never had—a dad/big brother, someone who could mentor them in life and faith. This meant I needed to be patient with them and not be afraid to cover the uncomfortable topics no one else had. I had to do simple things such as take them to the grocery store and show them how to shop and which foods to buy. I spent weeks teaching my Bible study group why it was a good and Christian thing to pay tax. I had to do extremely uncomfortable things such as explain to one person why incest was wrong and that he needed to be the one in his family to stop this pattern.

The First Time I Met Keith
This young man didn’t just have ADD; one look told me that I could add quite a few more consonants to his diagnosis. His eyes were those of a chameleon, both going in different directions and a grin that said, “No matter what you do to me, you’ll never hurt me.” I learned his story during a cup of coffee with his uncle. When Keith was 4 years old, he spent six months locked in a tiny basement under his house. He was brought out whenever his drunk father felt like throwing knives at him or putting out his cigarettes on his son’s arm. No wonder this kid was screwed up. Who wouldn’t be? How do I reach a young man such as Keith? Ice cream sundaes and “Honey, if you love me smile” wasn’t going to cut it here.

Show Them You Love Them but Set Clear Boundaries: Keith (and almost everyone else in the group) needed someone who took him seriously and loved him, someone who cared enough to also set some behavioral boundaries. I was quite surprised when Keith responded well to this. I would tell him week after week what was appropriate and what wasn’t. He seemed to flourish as a plant that suddenly discovered sunlight. This lead to my next lesson…

These Kids Crave Community and Hunger for God: I’ve never bought into the pizzas-and-entertainment style of youth ministry. I tried it once and found it unprofitable. It certainly wasn’t going to work here. While it was tough going, I needed to fold these kids into the Christian community. They needed to hear about the Creator of the universe who loves them. They needed to break the stranglehold that sin had on their families and community. If I thought ministry was hard before, I really learned it here. Community was a foreign word, love an unknown concept. However, the Lord was gracious. In time, we began to see fruit. The group began to hunger for a relationship with God. They learned to read His Word. (Mind you, we had to help them to learn how.) We began to pray for our community. Friends slowly were invited, and some stayed.

One thing I must share with you is that we began to pray that the members of the group would find employment. Youth unemployment in Australia was at an all-time high. Well, you could almost knock me down with a feather, but every single person we prayed for—and I mean every single person we prayed for—got a job. In this environment, it was almost akin to healing someone of leprosy! Praise God.

Be Realistic in What You Can Achieve: The temptation for most of us is to enter this world with grandiose dreams of success. We begin in the hope of bringing huge change and possibly seeing mass conversions. These dreams are unrealistic and in the end will be unproductive. You are plowing in dry fields. Pipe dreams will destroy you.

These kids need time, lots of time. Everything took at least three times as long as I’d planned. My wife and I had a good plan and the experience to put it into place. Well, it took years to see things happen. After two years, we had a youth group of 12 young people who were somewhat with us. It took another four long, hard years to have a youth group of 30 kids. However, for the first time in the history of the church we had a homegrown leadership team and a fantastic young man who could take the reigns when I left. This came only with time and effort.

One more thing. If you really want to bring change to a church dealing with kids at risk, I would advise you to focus all your efforts into building a structure that will grow with indigenous leadership. Spend your time growing young people who can take the reigns when you leave.

A Sad Postlude
Earlier I told you about Sean. He was one of our success stories. Coming from an environment of chronic unemployment, there was little hope he would ever get a job. I met with him a number of times to talk through how to find employment. In addition, I arranged for him to meet some potential employers. The final and most important thing we did was to pray for him as a youth group. (He was our first prayer success story). Well, to my absolute amazement, he did get a job—a good one, too! He began to work in a steel mill, and a few weeks later turned up at youth group with a brand new set of clothes. He began to drop $20 each week in the offering basket. Sadly, he didn’t last. It only took a few months and Sean’s workmates soon turned him to alcohol. Sean began to drink heavily, then turned to injecting speed. As far as I know, he still is working but nowhere near walking with the Lord. This was a hard lesson for us all. Working in the environment can be two steps forward and one and a half back.

And remember…
• You may never please the parents. I learned that many of the kids in our youth ministry had parents who found us threatening or suspicious. I mean lets face it, not only were we telling their kids about Christ, but we were teaching them to eat differently, read the Bible instead of smoking bongs and that paying tax was an acceptable thing to do. Many parents disagreed with us and in some cases quite violently.
• Your church may not feel comfortable with what you are doing. Many youth leaders have worked for churches that rest on one extreme or another. Some want numbers at all cost. Throw quality work out the window and pull in the crowds. Other churches are frightened by the sudden arrival of the local tough who has been reached by the youth ministry and now wants to become part of the church. Reaching kids at risk will need the support of the whole church. Make sure your minister and elders are right behind you and not opposed to what you are doing.

Last Words:
My six years with kids at risk were without a doubt the most painful I have had in more than 20 years of youth ministry. However, in many ways they were also the most fruitful. I learned so much about ministry, myself and the goodness of our Lord. It is funny, but I miss Sean, Keith and Donny. They sure kept me on my toes. Life was never dull around these guys. Was it worth the risk? You bet it was.