Statistics have shown that one-to-one mentoring is the most effective way to reach a fatherless child. Children with mentors are 46 percent less likely to do drugs, 33 percent less likely to resort to violence, 53 percent less likely to drop out of school, and 59 percent more likely to improve their grades. One-to-one mentoring has also been shown to lower the rates of teen pregnancy, suicide, and gage involvement in communities.
Mentoring tells a child that he is cared for, that he matters and that he is not alone. Mentoring shows a child how to be respectful and how to interact with peers and elders. Mentoring gives a child confidence in his talents, gifts and natural abilities, which helps shape his pursuits, education and eventual occupation.
Many counselors agree that healthy and loving human relationships are the most powerful behavior modifier in the world. Fatherless children lack these loving relationships and often feel lonely, flawed and incomplete. It is in relationships where the fatherless generation has been wounded the most deeply. Thus, it is in relationships where reconciliation must begin.
–Indicative Sample of the Text–
Unsafe Spaces
Many groups have good intentions to create a safe place for people, but they develop practices that undermine this goal. Unsafe environments take on many different forms and basically are places where people are not free to be themselves. Following are some specific ways this is manifested.
The group that wants to fix people. In such experiences there are people who want to help others get over their pain or struggle. Instead of letting an individual come to a place of self-discovery, they want to identify their problems and explain how they can change.
The group that forces people. In the name of sharing and being transparent, this kind of group sets an expectation that people will share their struggle even if they don’t feel comfortable doing so. Such forced transparency undermines the hope for openness.
The group that has the right answers. This kind of group is usually a Bible study-focused group that highly values digging into the meaning behind Scripture. An attitude of right and wrong can develop, and often two or three people will dominate the conversation. They think they are doing the right thing by providing the right information, but actually they are causing hearts to close off.
The group that has it all together. The thought that Christian maturity means the absence of personal struggle or weakness can suck the life out of a group. Conversations will not go deeper than the surface because people won’t risk sharing the truth about their lives.
Practice Lessons
All of these examples of unsafe spaces have something in common: trying to get the group experience right. They have a set of expectations are a dream of what the group should look like, and those expectations are what undermine the safety. Safety cannot be forced or manufactured; it is too alive and dynamic. Safety can only be cultivated like growing a garden. We cannot force a plant to grow; we can only create an environment that allows it to develop.
