I lead a small group of seventh grade guys in my home each Wednesday night. Four out of five weeks feel like we barely accomplish anything (whatever that means!).
That fifth week, though. Hmm! That’s the one that keeps me coming back week after week. It’s like the chip shot that magically drops in the hole—after the stinkiest round of golf in the history of links—and leads me to think, “I can do this!”
I had one of these “fifth weeks” recently. It started out looking like it was going to be the worst small-group time of the month. I hadn’t prepared a thing. My co-leader had the DVD curriculum. After an uncommonly unruly 30 minutes of sharing highs and lows of our week, I turned to my co-leader and asked if we could pop in the DVD. “Uh, I think I left it at home,” he said. Time to punt!
I had just returned from speaking at a youth ministry event where I’d done a seminar on creative teaching for middle school ministry. In the idea section, I talked about taking your group somewhere that will further the teaching or discussion. I’d shared about a time I took a small group of kids to a maternity ward to look at newborn babies, then loaded them in a van and took them to a cemetery. We talked about the span of life and what each student wanted his or her life to mean and be about.
With that idea in mind, I told my guys I wanted to talk about the future. I started by asking them each to share what kind of job or career they wanted to have when they were little kids (fireman, professional gamer). Then, I asked each to share what job or career they could imagine in their future now (youth pastor, professional gamer).
Then I took them to the cemetery (not really, just conceptually). I said, “Now, I want you to think about what kind of man you want to be. If you die when you’re 32, what would you want people to say about your character?”
The (hyper) tone of our time shifted, and it suddenly became a “fifth week.” Quietly and with an almost reverent tone, each shared a few thoughts that blew me away.
“I think I have the ability to be a leader, and I want to be one who isn’t a jerk but who leads with humility.”
“I make people laugh a lot, but I want to be more than that. I want to be someone who brings life to relationships and groups of people.”
“I want to be someone who is known for his integrity. Oh, and I think I have more leadership in me than I’ve shown at this point in my life.”
“I want to be a professional gamer.” (Yeah, there’s always one who’s stuck at a concrete level of thinking.)
We looked at the verse about stuff that comes “out of a man’s heart” and prayed for each other. Then we moved on to an unruly time of snack consumption.
Points to Remember:
• Be ready for a great time of deep discussion to show up when you least expect it.
• Be flexible and always ready to redirect when you see the opportunity to go somewhere meaningful.
• Don’t wrongly assume an unruly group can’t quickly redirect into the good stuff.
• Don’t assume that because you don’t see anything substantive happening on the surface that it isn’t.
• Wait for that almost-magical (and certainly mystical) chip shot that rolls into the hole. That’s the stuff, Baby.
