As a youth worker, I was often on the lookout for cultural stuff I could use as springboards into talks about the gray areas of life. Having an apologetic bent, I was eager to locate ways to illuminate and contrast the truth of the Christian faith with the wider culture.

For instance, I took on Karl Marx’s infamous statement: “Religion is the opiate of the masses.” Aside from the fun of using the word opiate in a youth-service message, the concept gave me a chance to prove to myself and my youth group that our faith was, contra Marx, committed to rigorous honesty and truthfulness. Things went well with Marx, so I thought I would try another criticism of Christianity. I learned that Friedrich Nietzsche claimed there was no such thing as universal truth, just the presence within any person or movement of a “will to power.” I refuted this, too, by describing how a will for power is different from a will for redemption.

Then I discovered postmodernism. I did not know much about this intellectual and sociological movement, but I knew postmodernists had made incisive critiques about Christianity.

What blew me away about postmodern thinking was its brutal honesty. Even though I was critical towards postmodern ideas, I could also see how the critiques were, at times, accurate. I could see clear instances of the church as a human structure using its “will to power” to carry out questionable actions. I could see how talk about Christian submission to authority could be utilized—by those in authority—to persuade church members to fall in line without questioning the straightness of the line.

However, as I delved into this subterranean cave of postmodern thought, the light of the gospel felt like it was being overwhelmed. I was no longer interested in being relevant; I was simply becoming more critical and negative about how people could be so outwardly dishonest. Though I tried hard to be positive, I was becoming cynical. I began to believe that most people who were doing good things externally were hiding true and more sinister motivations under the surface. I was unmotivated to work at a place where so much dishonesty was couched in Christian language. I felt frustrated and disconnected from the church and was hoping to find a way to regain some spiritual vitality, but not sure how.

From Cynicism to Hope

Then I rediscovered a story about Jesus and a man who wanted his son to be healed. In Mark 9:14-26, Jesus lamented the unbelieving nature of the crowds who surround Him. He also seemed indignant that the sick boy’s father asked Him with the disclaimer “if you can” (NIV). Rebuked by Jesus, the man blurts out a statement that might become a profound prayer for a youth worker experiencing the dark night of the soul: “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

Reading these words cracked open the cynicism that was hardening my heart. This prayer was so small and yet so refreshingly real and truthful that I was astounded by its simplicity.

Reflecting on thr impact of postmodernism on the Christian faith, Barry Taylor, an adjunct professor at Fuller Seminary, writes: “Perhaps the times call for something else, something other, not merely the repackaging of old metaphors (playing the relevant game), but a new incarnation of what it means to follow Jesus.”

That is where I am, and I love the view.

James Wheeler serves as the Director of Adult Education for Foothills Alliance Church in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. He was previously a youth pastor for 11 years in two different churches.