It was one of the most exciting moments of my life. I had just spent hours—OK, days—putting together my Facebook profile, and suddenly it happened. Someone wanted to be my friend. With a thrill in my heart, I clicked “Accept” and waited. And waited.
I waited for weeks. After that, there were only a few creepy guys who wanted to be my friend, and I don’t think they really meant it. Clearly, I didn’t “get” the whole online social networking thing. It wasn’t until I asked my students for help that I began to discover how deeply online social networking has changed the way our kids communicate with one another.
It has become clear to me that it’s more than a high-tech fad or a wasteful avoidance from reality. Sites like Facebook.com and MySpace.com have created important points of connection for kids who are growing up in a very disconnected culture. These spaces help kids meet social and emotional needs that aren’t being met anywhere else. They are truly the new virtual hangouts.
That leaves youth ministry workers with an important choice. Do we choose to rise above the world of artificial online communication, a world we aren’t so comfortable in anyway, and drag our kids back into a world with real people and real places? Or do we get down and dirty, adopting the same technology that has utterly recreated the social reality in which our kids live.
As for me and my house, I have chosen to boldly venture into social-networking sites as a means of being a role model, encouraging kids and shining God’s light into their new virtual hangouts.
Ministering with MySpace
First, a little background. MySpace is the Internet site that helped usher in an entire generation of online social networkers. While many adults still view such sites as places for predators and pornography, most teenagers view them as a fun place to make new friends, check up on old friends and share a little bit about the things happening in their lives.
As MySpace has gotten bigger and badder, however, many users have migrated to Facebook, a site initially limited to college students but recently opened to everyone. While Facebook allows less personal modification than MySpace and feels more controlled, it, too, can be easily accessed by stalkers, future employers, old boyfriends, and your mom. Just like MySpace, pornography is always just a few clicks away.
So, whether it be MySpace, Facebook, or any of the other hundreds of social-networking sites, we need to figure out where our kids are and how God is calling us to meet their needs.
On one hand, online social-networking sites can be rough. There are offensive ads and plenty of new “friends” who seem more interested in sex and stalking than in creating meaningful relationships. If that wasn’t enough, there are plenty of sweet Christian kids who see no problem posting “yuk” on their profiles. The freedom of the Net seems to encourage kids to lie, gossip, bully each other and talk about sex and violence in ways that are raw and disgusting. On a certain level, by doing ministry in such a potentially unsavory place, we become associated with the filth surrounding the message and, by association, may be condoning bad behavior. On the other hand, Jesus faced the same dilemma in His ministry. He had to decide whether to keep His reputation and His message clean or enter into places that were much less acceptable.
It is very possible God is calling us to keep our feet firmly planted in the real world. It is also possible God intends for this technology to help us reach kids in ways we never could face to face.
For me, the most compelling reason to go online is that MySpace and Facebook are where our kids are. It’s where they spend their time, it’s where they make their friends, it’s where they explore their identities, and it’s where they cry for help. I’m not sure Christ would leave them in there alone. As potentially bad as some of these sites are, there are just as many good things.
We will inevitably find kids who have carefully placed precious things in their sites, hoping someone will notice. There are kids who absolutely thrive in an online environment. According to a 2007 study done by Jochen Peter and Patti M. Valkenburg, sites like Facebook actually enhance existing friendships, allowing young people to develop depth and breadth in their real-life relationships. As our kids grow up in an increasingly wired world, many have turned to online social networking in ways that are significant, even central, to who they are.
A Friend of Facebook
Therein lies the opportunity. With the good and the bad, MySpace and Facebook can be used as effective ministry tools. They can help us understand our kids better and more successfully share the gospel. For instance, there is no easier way to find out what is important to our kids, what they are struggling with, what they are doing with their time, and who their friends are than to regularly peruse their online profiles. If they have accepted you as a “friend,” you become privy to a wealth of information. It is the kind of information that can provide insight into questions like what Bible-study topics would be relevant, what conflicts may be brewing, or even why the new girl seems so troubled.
MySpace and Facebook can also provide the perfect place to share the gospel. It’s easy to load your profile with things that point youth group kids and strangers toward Jesus. It might be a Bible-study recap from Wednesday night. It might be a blog on dating. It might be a video that depicts Jesus healing the leper. The thing that makes the Internet a perfect place to imbed the gospel message is that kids can look through ideas in their own time, their own pace, in a way that is safe and comfortable. It can be the lever that opens the door to more conversation.
As overwhelming and frustrating as it is, we need to keep our fingers on the technology that is transforming our kids. If we don’t use it, we still need to talk about it. If we aren’t there, challenging our kids to upload their Christianity into their Internet world, coming alongside them as they deal with virtual challenges and heartaches, who will? We may just find these new hangouts present tremendous opportunities for God uniquely to touch the hearts and minds of the young people we work with.
This article is adapted from her latest book, Rewired: Youth Ministry in an Age of IM and MySpace. Copyright (c) 2007 by Judson Press. Used by permission of Judson Press, http://www.judsonpress.com/
Online Social-Networking Ministry Ideas
* The key to a successful Facebook or MySpace site is change. Update your site regularly. Try adding new pictures, jokes of the week, movie reviews, devotionals, games, or links to new Christian bands.
* Use your profile to showcase the creative or evangelistic talents of your kids by displaying their artwork, poetry, or videos.
* Post surveys for kids to take and then use the results in your next Bible study.
* Start a site for your group and assign students to update the site each week. It builds cohesiveness and easily links everyone’s sites.
* Don’t worry if you don’t get a lot of comments on your wall or blog. Most kids tend to look but not talk. If you keep updating your site with things that are relevant to your kids, they will come.
—Peggy Kendall
