My high school years were spent at a very, very small Christian school in Southern California. To say I was sheltered would be an understatement. While I have many fond memories of those years and made a number of lifelong friends, I also remember vividly the extent to which my teachers went to keep us students from falling into a life of sex, drugs and rock-n-roll.
In Bible class, we watched videos that exposed all the satanic lyrics in many popular bands’ songs and the hidden occult imagery on their album covers. One time in chapel, we had a former heavy metal rocker come and share his testimony. I still remember the climax of his message in which he asked us students to imagine Jesus in one corner of the room and our favorite band or musician in the other, and then asked to which corner we’d rather go.
Despite all their efforts, I succumbed to temptation one day while at the local record store with my one non-Christian friend, a neighbor from two doors down. I bought Skid Row’s self-titled album (1989) on cassette tape. I’d seen their videos on MTV and liked several of their songs, so I folded like a cheap suit and forked over $10 for the tape. About a week later, my conscience got the best of me. I destroyed the tape and threw it away.
Having more than doubled in age since those days, I’m now able to chuckle at my own naiveté. While I don’t agree with all of their goals or methods, being a teacher in a Christian school myself I appreciate my own teachers’ efforts to protect me and my classmates from the evils of the world. Having grown older and (I hope) wiser, I have begun to notice these attempts to shelter and protect were not exclusive to my teachers. It appears to be the trend with many Christian school teachers, youth leaders and others who minster to youth. “Lead them not into temptation”…or something like that.
The problem is that for every kid such as myself who threw away a secular cassette tape at age 14, there are probably 10 Christian kids buying or streaming the same music without so much as blinking an eye. Our youth today live in a world that is so incredibly saturated by the mass media. Every waking moment teens are plugged in, tuned in and online. The media sends messages to our youth—teaches our youth—about so many important issues; so why are adults afraid to join in the dialogue? Plugging their ears and covering their eyes doesn’t do much good. In fact, it more often proves harmful when young people do confront the forces of the media on their own for the first time and are unprepared to do so.
Instead of sheltering and protecting them, adults should equip the teens in our lives with the tools necessary to engage the mass media. We need to help them think critically about what entertainment media tells them. More importantly, we should use media to our advantage—as an avenue into their lives. Teens long for relationships with adults in which they can be open and honest without fear of judgment. Talking about their favorite music, movies or television programs can be the perfect icebreaker.
To do this—to use entertainment media as a way of engaging teens in meaningful conversations about important topics—we have to do it right. Here are a few tips:
• Remain current and relevant. Yes, I know the music on the radio today is nothing compared to what we listened to in our youth, but remember the big picture. If you want access into their world, you have to know what is popular at the moment. Read the young adult bestsellers. Go to the movies or watch the latest releases on Netflix. Skim the latest issues of Entertainment Weekly. Consider it research and reconnaissance; if you want into their lives, you need to speak their language.
• Don’t judge or criticize. I’m not saying to throw away your morals and values, but put aside your personal tastes and preferences for the moment and immerse yourself in their world. You don’t have to like the music or television shows to carry on an intelligent conversation about them. You want these teens to trust you and talk to you about the important things in their lives; judgment and criticism—even if it’s regarding their taste in music—is the biggest roadblock to trust.
• Don’t proselytize or sermonize. You want eventually to lead the conversation around to spiritual matters and other important topics, but don’t attempt to Christianize every new film or song. Don’t try to turn everything into an object lesson. Just talk about the plot or characters in the film or the great guitar solo in the middle of the song. Let the teens find their way to the spiritual topics and questions. Let them wrestle with the issues a bit before you throw in your 2-cents worth into the discussion.
• Ask open-ended questions. Once the conversation turns from the superficial to the substantial, start to dig and probe a bit through open-ended questions. Encourage your teens to think more deeply about the issues being brought up through the entertainment media. Let them sit and ponder the questions for awhile; don’t expect quick or easy answers or be quick to provide the answers.
• Listen. Remember the goal is to build relationships with teens and help guide them as they struggle and wrestle with the important issues they are facing. When they are ready and willing to open up and share their lives with you, let them. Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all.
As youth workers, teachers and adults who minister to young people, we have an incredible opportunity and responsibility to build inroads of trust and security in the lives of youth by engaging them in meaningful conversation. Because those young people live in such a media-saturated world, why not use that to our advantage? Why not use that to segue into dialogue about things that really matter, things that have eternal significance? Instead of sheltering them from the media, why not embrace it as a means to relate to teens on their level?
If we do, we might just be surprised by the results.
Ryan M. Blanck is the author of Engaging the Media. He is married with two daughters who are incredibly talented cloggers. Find him on Facebook or follow him on Twitter.
