I sat down for lunch and braced myself for what I was going to hear.

“I’m close to giving up on my faith.”

Those were hard words—especially from Don. He grew up in our youth ministry, and we had become good friends. He was now graduating from college and facing some tough questions. “I guess I just don’t understand how being a Christian actually makes a difference in the world. So what’s the point?”

 Youth workers’ conversation about preparing kids for college is very predictable. The talk immediately goes to high school ministry, and the suggestions flood in: “Design a great class to prepare them…” “Create junior and senior leadership…” “Build mentoring connections for when they come back.”

 Granted, these are worthwhile pursuits. In fact, they are vital. But kids like Don had all of those benefits and yet something was missing. I was left to wonder, did we fail Don, and kids like him? And how?

 Middle school ministry needs a place at the table for any discussion involving “college prep.” An open window exists in young teen ministry that is important for kids like Don. Many college students and adults, despite their high school wanderings, return to what they explored in middle school. What things need to be introduced in middle school that may fall on jaded ears if we try four years later?

 It’s no secret that exposing kids to the gospel at a young age increases their chances of following Jesus. But we make a mistake if we see middle school ministry as a time just to “attract kids.” Not only do kids need exposure to Jesus Christ in middle school, kids need to be captivated by certain elements of the faith at a young age.

In other words, if young kids aren’t given an age-appropriate vision for issues like God’s love for the poor, having a healthy marriage, sexual ethics, or religious pluralism, I believe they will be less likely to cultivate maturity in these aspects of their faith as adults.

LOVING THEIR NEIGHBOR

 We see this lack of maturity in today’s Christian adults. Surveys show low percentages of evangelical adults who would give money to support HIV/AIDS prevention in Africa. Other surveys show the divorce rate among evangelicals is now equal to that of the broader culture. Statistic after statistic indicates that evangelical adults are living just like the rest of the world. Those numbers indicate a disconnect between God’s heart and the adult evangelical Christian’s heart.

 I see this as an indictment on youth ministry. Where is the breakdown happening?

 If middle school is where many kids first process the gospel, perhaps we need to look there first. What kind of “gospel” are they getting? When training leaders and teaching kids, I have emphasized the Great Commandment (Matt. 22:37-39). But, while I have tried to help kids learn to love Jesus with all their hearts, soul and mind, I have often neglected to show them what it means to love their “neighbor.”

 That failure makes the “gospel” appear only about “me and Jesus.” There is little need for loving others, engaging in a church body or participating with God in his work around the world. If middle schoolers are introduced to a gospel that excludes the second half of the Great Commandment, we shouldn’t be surprised to find college students and adults who aren’t living any differently from the rest of the culture.

We are failing kids like Don by not seizing middle school as a time to engage them with a deeper picture of what it means to not only love God, but others as well. Don’s question is a good one, “What is the point?” The irony is, Jesus makes it pretty clear—if we will let Him speak for Himself.

 JIM CANDY is in his tenth year as the director of middle school ministries at First Presbyterian Church in Boulder, Colo.