Whether I had heard about it from someone else, read about it on a blog or had a nudge from the Spirit as some would say, I was stunned. The vulnerability and honesty was a breath of fresh air. The masks we all wear had come off briefly, if only for a moment.

Staring at my cell phone, reading text after text, I was witnessing a prayerful confession rarely seen as youth shared their greatest struggles—struggles that have become all too common in youth ministry: conflicts at home, wrestling with the use of alcohol…my phone had become an altar for prayer.

Where Is the Line?
Distraction, frustration, irritation…These are some of the common words I hear in talking with other youth pastors and colleagues in ministry when the topic of youth and cell phones is raised.

In confessing my own frustration with this subject I have sunk pretty low. I have on occasion resorted to keeping the lights dim in the room, not to create some type of mood or atmosphere, but to better see whose faces were glowing from their cell phones’ lit screens.

As we confide and share our experiences, the conversation always turns to where we place the line. Do we allow youth to have their phones during youth group meetings? Should we tell them to leave their phones at home? How about checking them in at the door?

Wherever we decide to draw the line, we always have to be prepared for the fallout. “My parents want to be able reach me at all times.” “This phone was my Christmas/birthday present.” My personal favorite: “I’ll die without it!”

I used to struggle to refrain from rolling my eyes when I heard the latter reason (to them)/ excuse (to me). However, as technology has continued to advance, I have begun to wonder if maybe the youth weren’t being melodramatic. Maybe they were on to something.

I’m now convinced the claim, “I’ll die without it!” is not an exaggeration, but an honest statement which defines in some way their ontological being.

Contemporary Technology Isn’t Your Average Tool
My suspicions were confirmed during a weekend retreat with high schoolers. The devotion and worship were coming to a close when I decided to mix things up and asked everyone to pull out their cell phones. Hesitant and confused, slowly the youth began to pull out their cell phones. I explained we would be closing in prayer a little differently this night. I asked everyone to text me the prayers they wanted someone praying for on their behalf.

They became transparent and completely vulnerable in this moment when they were texting on their phones. Prayers they weren’t willing to risk audibly were flying to my inbox. I didn’t fully understand what we all were experiencing until a couple of years later when I came across Andrew Root’s work The Promise of Despair. Drawing on the work of Jean Baudrillard, Andy writes, “In our screen-based world, Baudrillard asserts, the unreal screen has become the real, the hyperreal; it has made the sign, the image, into reality.” The lines of reality have blurred.

Technology is changing so fast that it’s hard to keep up with it all. Facebook is starting to become uncool as more and more studies show younger generations are leaving this social platform for newer ones such as Tumblr and Snapchat.

With the constant changing and updating of technology, the goal in ministry often becomes to try to keep up and not be left behind. We seldom stop and ask how this technology is shaping our humanity.

No longer is technology simply a tool we use for communication, accomplishing our work more efficiently and multi-tasking. Technology is doing more than blurring the lines between what is real and what is not.

Some researchers are suggesting it fundamentally is altering our identities and perception of relationships. Sherry Turkle, an MIT professor, in her work Alone Together writes, “For simulation not only demands immersion but creates a self that prefers simulation. Simulation offers relationships simpler than real life can provide.” We no longer simply are using technology; we have entered a relationship with it, and it’s impacting us whether we want to recognize it.

Changing Identifies
Toeing the line and keeping cell phones completely out of our regular youth ministry activities might cut down on the number of distractions we encounter on any given night. We might keep youth more engaged in the topic for the night. However, we risk never fully engaging the full being of our youth.

Perhaps the reason our worship and devotions seem to have little impact sometimes isn’t because we haven’t spent enough time in prayer or simply have created a boring devotion. Maybe they don’t connect because we are creating messages for a reality and identity that no longer exist, especially for our youth who never will know how it was to live without a smartphone.

As Andrew Root noted in our phone conversation one day, “The genie is out of the bottle, and there is no putting it back in.” Our identity has and is being altered by technology and the hyperreal.

Becoming Subversive
I’m not suggesting we allow free reign of cell phones in our youth ministry activities or that we unilaterally adopt the latest and greatest technology into our ministries simply to engage our youth. We must begin to discern how God is moving in this digital reality and invite our youth to push beyond it into a deeper reality and humanity found in the altering life, death and resurrection of Jesus.

One of the adjectives Eugene Peterson uses to define a pastor is subversive. He writes, “No subversive ever does anything big. He (or she) is always carrying secret messages, planting suspicion that there is something beyond what the culture says is final.” While technology allows us to be more connected than ever, this connection often is used in self-promotion rather than actually connecting. We type comments and post pictures hoping they go viral.

Our use of texting, Facebook and Twitter must not be limited to communicating and advertising upcoming youth ministry activities. We must recognize these as sacred spaces where we must be willing to risk being transparent and authentic in a place where fantasy is expressed and idolized. By encountering our youth in these spaces with our own authenticity we are inviting them to be authentic with us, as well.

It may not be the idealized face-to-face conversation we would prefer, but it’s a stepping stone. It meets them and engages them where they are. The last time I checked, this is where I most often saw Jesus ministering—engaging people on their level through His use of subversive parables and invitations to see beyond the present reality.

Rev. Seth Vopat is a graduate of Central Baptist Theological Seminary, he currently serves as the associate pastor of Youth and Family at Louisburg First Baptist Church. Follow him on Twitter: @svopat.