Do you ever feel as if you are beating your head against a wall in youth ministry? Do you ever feel the desire to give up? If you are honest with yourself, does it seem as if you spend most of your time trying to convince teens not screw up their lives — and they don’t listen to you anyway?

The past decade or so, there has been a major shift in the dynamics of the Western church. Children of this post-modern era have decided they no longer want their parents’ religion–and often for good reason. Moral failure in leaders and the church’s reputation for judgment and hypocrisy only push them further away. Many abandon the teachings of Jesus because Christianity feels like stale rhetoric. The way Christianity is presented isn’t answering their list of questions, which grows longer the more disconnected culture becomes.

It’s obvious this is a confusing age in which we are living. Everything is at our fingertips–every technological tool to stay connected–yet young people are dying for a real sense of purpose. They want to believe they are a part of a bigger plan.

The model of western education–data transfer–has been adopted by the church. The problem is do’s and don’ts are never enough, especially for a generation that no longer sees truth as black and white.

If we are going to do youth ministry effectively, discipleship has to be more than sitting with a student at a coffee shop and giving him or her advice with a few Scripture verses.

Imagine this: The teens in your church grasp hold of Jesus. Missions are being born from the overflow of teenagers understanding God’s heart.

Students initiate and lead ventures into the community to serve the destitute, encourage the elderly and mentor those in grade school. They don’t have to be coerced or emotionally manipulated. Their response to the gospel is a natural spill over of giving, serving and social justice. They are impacting their neighborhoods and the wider world.

Is this possible? Is this what we as youth ministers can dare to hope and believe in?

The key is discipleship as teaching and experience–an experience of God. We can lead teens to an understanding of His heart, an authentic experience of transformation and an excitement birthed from the Holy Spirit. If we’re honest, modern discipleship hasn’t done this, but it can!

How is this possible?

Jesus used parables and questions. He interacted. He spoke in such a way that didn’t give easy answers, but allowed people to open their hearts in order to perceive spiritually what their minds could not naturally.

I heard a true story recently of a young girl at a church in England who came to a youth conference hosted by our ministry, The Pais Project. After hearing the message and experiencing God in worship, something inside of her clicked. She caught a glimpse of God’s heart. The girl took practical steps to make a difference in her neighborhood. She helped an elderly lady sell magazines to raise money for the homeless. She baked mince pies and handed them out to her community. Recently, she began meeting with another girl every Saturday to pray and then do random acts of kindness. She is starting a sponsored race to raise money for charity.

Nobody is asking her to do this. She is not seeking attention of the church leaders. Most of these acts were done in secret and then discovered. This young girl has been discipled with a combination of teaching and experience. She is now overflowing with love and the Holy Spirit. The fruit is visible and evident.

Discipleship is not simply making sure people stay away from drugs and sex or making sure they show up at church and behave as good Christians.

Discipleship is so much more than a transfer of information. It’s journeying with people as they come alive.

Discipleship matters because it leads others to an understanding of God’s heart. Understanding God’s heart changes the one who hears into one who believes.
You don’t have to continue to beat your head against the wall. You can rethink and repurpose how your teens are being discipled. You can begin to see the Spirit of God change hearts and watch as the very things you’ve been praying for in your youth group come to pass.

The Pais Project offers free youth ministry training internationally, as well as resources to disciple your youth group.