Do you ever get the feeling we live life on a timer?

Before we are born, there is a count down to our date of arrival, and from then it seems as if every moment in life is generically scheduled to meet societal expectations. Parents and grandparents brag about a child who walks by 9 months of age and fret about one who doesn’t speak plainly by the toddler phase. Community members take note when children show the potential to be sports prodigies by age 5, but church members doubt the sincerity of a child who says she’s accepted salvation at age 7. If you’ve not completed puberty by 13 or 14, there’s concern of a medical issue; if you don’t know what you want to do with the rest of your life by the time you graduate high school, you are wasting your time and money. Do these stereotypical judgments seem silly to anyone besides me?

If any of the above expectations are realistic, then I’ve met a few, exceeded one or two and completely missed the boat on occasion. My most serious offense, however, which I’m still committing on a daily basis..?

First,
• I’m 23 years old.
• I changed majors once during my college career.
• I spent every summer (and most semesters) during college career working.
• I earned a Bachelors of Science in Agriculture, emphasizing in Communications and Public Relations.
• I landed a full-time job in the Agriculture Industry straight out of college.
• My first apartment was MY responsibility, as were my medical bills, travel expenses, groceries, entertainment…you get the idea; and I’ve never been late on a payment.
• It’s always been important to me to be involved in community outreach projects, to stay close to my family and to ensure that my friends know they can count on me anytime they need me.

So what is it that I am doing wrong?

I’m not married! (Also, I’m not moving swiftly in that direction.)

I sometimes laugh at how often I’m asked, “Are you dating anyone special?” or, “Has anyone caught your eye lately?” One deacon wished me Merry Christmas and followed that up with, “May you be married by next Christmas!” (That was a couple years ago…clearly, he and Santa aren’t very tight.) Typically, I’ll respond with a respectful, “No, but if you know someone, send him my way.” Lately however, I’ve preferred, “Are you kidding!? ‘I’m going to be gone for the next year?’ isn’t exactly a great pick-up line!”

Most of the time, I’m good-natured about the inquiries. I know people generally are just curious; and for them, this is an easy way to make conversation. If I’m honest, though, the subject really does matter to me.

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul spends ample time explaining that in his opinion, it’s best not to marry. Remaining single allows us to focus fully on God, whereas if we enter a relationship with someone, we are concerned with pleasing that person and sometimes allow those desires to override our desire to please God. Paul goes on to explain that we are human; and, thus, we are immoral; so to quote 1 Corinthians 7:8-9, “Now to the unmarried and the widows, I say: It is good for them stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

You have to love how Paul just puts it out there! In essence, he explains that marriage is a serious matter. It’s meant to be a devoted state between two people, and that state is not to be broken. Your body becomes your mate’s, and your mate’s body becomes yours. There are few instances when breaking a marriage is biblically valid. So, it’s not something to be taken lightly!

Furthermore, it’s not a subject I take lightly at all! So honestly, it’s a little bit hurtful when people question why I’m not randomly dating someone or insinuate that I’m less valuable simply because I’ve chosen to remain single. It’s even more hurtful when, as in a recent situation, I learned that people in my hometown had spread a rumor that I am only going on The World Race because I’m a lesbian, and I’m too ashamed to tell my family; so this is 11 months of escape.

Yeah, that one stung a lot, actually.

Bottom line: I’m a young woman who has proven fully capable of taking care of myself, who loves my friends and family very much, who feels as if I understand God’s direction for my life, who likes my independence but is certainly willing to give it up for the right man. As is the case for most girls, I’ve dreamed about meeting my Prince Charming for a long, long, long time; but it is important to me that whomever I eventually date/marry is as sold out for God as I likewise hope to be. I want my marriage to be a once-and-for-all affair, and I want to be assured that whomever I spend 40, 50, 60 or more years with on Earth also will be there to hold my hand in heaven. It’s important to me to find the one, and I wholeheartedly trust that God has that one already planned. Granted, if my one is tall, dark, handsome and rich, those are just added perks that I will have to learn to accept. Call me picky, but I’m willing to wait. In the meantime, God is spoiling me rotten!

One of my favorite quotes is: “A woman’s heart should be so lost in God that a man has to seek Him in order to find her.”

I’m working daily on my part in that equation. Prayers for this will be appreciated. All timers and expectations will be ignored.

Learn more about Ashlee at AshleeBCastle.Blogspot.com and more about her upcoming World Race.