Somewhere along the way, lines of demarcation developed between parental spiritual guidance and youth ministry discipleship.

Parents would subconsciously think, or even overtly say, “You’re the professional; fix my kid.” Youth pastors would counter with, maybe subconsciously or even overtly, “But I’m with your kid only two percent of each week; whereas you…”

Both are right. And wrong.

THE TEXT

The familiar Shema of Deuteronomy 6 contains a call-out to children, but it is not explicitly directed to parents. It’s directed to the faith community. Of course the parents were part of the faith community. Read the passage below as if you’re seeing it for the first time. As you read, note all the different elements of life that are represented in the actions and instructions in this passage.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9

⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸ Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ⁹ Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

THINK ABOUT IT

Let the actions and instructions in this passage seep into your mind and heart for a moment. Think about what’s being communicated regarding the relationship between a faith community and its children.

The teaching of the children was not to be relegated to a teaching segment of the week, but it was to be woven into the fabric of life. The “impressing” was to start at home but then it obviously was to be a community-wide effort, involving even the doorframes and gates that children would be passing through all day, every day.

One of the best gifts we can give to a teenager today: surround him or her with a cadre of adults living out the gospel in every aspect of daily life. We give teens a leg up when they see adults, both parents and youth workers, taking the Word of God seriously, exhibiting gospel-driven behavior such as personal purity, sacrificial giving, unconditional love, and Jesus-grade forgiveness.

This does present one particular challenge. Of all the cross-matrices we handle in youth ministry (male vs. female, middle school vs. high school, spiritually hungry vs. spiritually unmotivated), the most delicate is the diverse spiritual support students receive at home. The “action steps” from a small-group Bible study look entirely different to the teen going home to a supportive faith atmosphere than to the teen who is not. For the teen who is not, our cadre of gospel-living adults is even more important. Further, youth workers need to do a balancing act between equipping the teen to be the light of the gospel at home while still honoring his or her parents.

APPLY IT

So, parents and youth workers, we’re fortunate to have each other. Yes, faith-supportive parents have way more opportunity for spiritual influence than youth workers. But youth workers live and breathe the ins and outs of teen spiritual formation. Parents and youth workers are on the same team with one common goal: impress “these commandments” upon our children. Parents should leverage the help of a supportive youth ministry. Youth ministries should leverage the help of supportive parents. And everybody should gang up to help the teens who are living the gospel without the help from home.