One of my professors stopped me and my roommate in the hall during graduation week from seminary and said, “I don’t know you two very well, but I have been watching both of you for three years. I have an observation.” He continued, “David and Dan, both of you have so much energy, passion and electricity in your DNA that I am fearful in five years you will drop out of the ministry. So I want you both to make me one promise. Please start your ministry on the right foundation. Etch out on your calendar one day a week of no ministry, no church work, and no work, period. Set in stone a day off, a Sabbath. It will help your six days be productive, and you will be refreshed and renewed for the long haul. It may save your life.”
I committed to that principle years ago, and my professor was right—it has saved my life.
Recently, I was on a panel designed to help graduating college seniors, and one student asked, “If you could give us advice on how to survive the afterlife of college, what would you say?” I found myself going back to my professor’s words with a few variations.
Spacing
As a person in ministry, my most important relationship other than wiht Jesus is with my wife. One boundary we have set as a married couple is to have a 24-hour day off from ministry tasks. It is a day to pray, play and enjoy one another. Sometimes our Sabbath involves a nap, exercise, walking in a park, lunch or coffee. It is a clear boundary of honoring God.
Sabbath rest also communicates my love for my spouse. Typically, I turn off my cell phone, along with all my other technological gadgets. There are other boundaries and spacing I set to care for my soul:
– exercise four to five days a week;
– go to bed around 11 each night;
– eat as healthfully as possible.
These intentions serve to protect and refresh. Sabbath is not about rules, but renewal. Create some space.
Stop It
The comedian Bob Newhart played Dr. Switzer in a “Saturday Night Live” sketch in which a woman comes to his office for therapy. Switzer explains he charges only $5 for the first five minutes; following that, he charges nothing. After she explains her “fear of being buried alive in a box,” he listens patiently, then says he has two words for her, “Stop it!” She continues for the rest of the five minutes complaining of bulimia, washing her hands too frequently and fears of driving. To all of the phobias, he yells, “Stop it!” She tells the doctor she does not like the counseling, so he tells Catherine to pull out a piece of paper; he has 10 words for her, “Stop it, or I’ll bury you alive in a box!”
I feel like saying, “Stop it” when every three minutes a youth worker is playing with his or her phone or filling up the church calendar. Stop it! In what area do you need to say to yourself, “Stop it?” Then do it.
Dream
Years ago I created a personal axiom: I will have a life outside of my ministry. I am a professor, speaker, writer and love to mentor, but I have a life outside of these activities. I have hobbies such as bicycling, basketball, reading and travelling. My family and I love the mountains and the beach.
When I turned 30, I set a goal of visiting every state in America, finally achieving this goal last year with a trip to Alaska—love those Disney Cruises! I also created a dream list of visiting 30 countries. In order to have a life outside of work, I choose to:
– Laugh everyday.
– Don’t take myself so seriously.
– Wrestle and have tickle fights with my son.
– Play, vacation and relax.
– Meet with God regularly.
– Have dates with my wife.
– Feed my soul so I won’t dry up.
My professor was right on about what I needed, and heeding his advice has saved my life. I hope it will save yours.
David Olshine is a professor and director of the Youth Ministry, Family and Culture program at Columbia International University in Columbia, South Carolina. He’s the author of the new book Youth Ministry: What’s Gone Wrong and How to Get it Right and co-founder of Youth Ministry Coaches.
