After 26 years of youth ministry, I thought I have heard every question possible.

In a previous column I mentioned I am teaching Bible to middle school students at the Red Lion Christian Academy in Bear, Delaware. The other day in my eighth-grade Old Testament survey class, a young lady interrupted an inspiring lecture on Moses and the Plagues to ask, “Mr. Burke, do you wax your eyebrows?”

I had to think for a moment. Wax my eyebrows? Then I emphatically answered no.

Yes to Soul Care
It was nice to have a clear-cut reason to say no. How often do you say no? Youth workers are rocket scientists at answering in the affirmative. Yes, I will do that. Yes, I will serve on the committee. Yes (especially if we have a martyr complex), since no one else will do it, I will volunteer.

Please hear my heart. I am not saying that we should never say yes. My goal here is to challenge you in your soul care to say no. Here are some practical ways to do that.

Say Yes to Areas of Passion
Are you passionate about the kingdom of God, or are you doing youth ministry as usual? My prayer is that you can yes to the aspects of the kingdom of God, and no to the things of the world.

My encouragement is for you to say yes to things you are passionate about and say no to the stuff of youth ministry that sucks the very life out of you. What do you need to delete from your life and ministry? What could you add to your life and ministry based out of passion?

Clear the Clutter
I confess that often there is a plethora of clutter in my car. Recently, my daughter Katie did an extreme makeover to my car. As a result of my daughter’s servant leadership, I noticed the trunk is large, and someone can actually sit next to me in the passenger seat, which I usually utilize as a desk.

Clutter is messy, clutter is old, clutter is toxic, and most of all clutter blocks the vision of future potential. Therefore, clear the clutter—not only from your car or desk, but from your life and ministry.

Eliminate the Guilt
How are you motivated to take care of your soul and serve others? Often, guilt is a motivating factor, and youth leaders keep saying yes when they should be saying no.

There is a major difference between guilt and conviction. I would encourage you to serve out of conviction, burden and passion, as opposed to guilt, which is based in the realm of “I have to do this,” as opposed to “I have a desire to do this.” In other words, I want to spend time with God as opposed to I have to spend time with God. It’s my desire to serve others as opposed to I have to serve others.

Just Say No!
Recently, I have been saying no to some speaking events, where previously in my life I would say yes to everything. In what areas of your life and ministry do you desperately need to say no? No is a difficult word for workaholics, and for those who have other types of addiction issues in their family tree and ministry.

By the way, these toxic issues are foreshadowing for future articles. I look forward to some e-mail responses from some of you who have the courage to say no as you say yes to areas of passion, clear the clutter, eliminate the guilt, and most of all just say no! Please send your accounts of your victories to davidburke1@verizon.net