In the past three years, I have learned to take it slow. It still doesn’t come easily to me; believe it or not, I actually miss the fast-paced environment of full-time youth ministry. However, the decision to quit my job as youth pastor may have been the best decision of my life.
I didn’t make this decision until I absolutely had to do so. I was a full-time youth pastor, a mom, and the wife of a researcher getting his Ph.D. I thought I could do it all…I needed to do it all. In reality, it was killing me. I knew I had taken on too much, that I was stretched too thin, that it was taking a toll on me and my family. Still, I didn’t embrace slow. I couldn’t.
Then, I was diagnosed with the Mexican flu, pneumonia and complete exhaustion. Even with this diagnosis, I needed a stern lecture from my family doctor that I was on the brink of burnout, and I needed my husband putting his foot down before I could see the truth. Slowing down wasn’t an option anymore but a necessity.
Yet I went kicking and screaming all the way into slow.
Why is slow an easy concept to understand but so hard to practice? Why, despite knowing slow is better for us, do we still live our lives at breakneck speed? It’s as if we deliberately choose to be stretched too thin.
It’s not the practicalities that are the issue. We all can delegate, say no, or take a day off. It’s about how slow affects us emotionally. Slow requires disappointing people…it means saying no. We don’t like saying no to people; we pride ourselves on being yes people.
Slow means letting go in various ways. For perfectionists, it’s hard to prioritize rest and relaxation more than results. Although rationally we know the first is more important, we still struggle with accepting a less-than-perfect end result. Part of slow means being satisfied with enough rather than perfect.
Slow causes us to confront ourselves, which takes a lot of emotional energy. As long as we keep running, we don’t have time to face what’s happening deep inside of us, and we can’t hear God speaking to us about what’s wrong in our lives. As long as we keep running, we don’t have to face our deepest fears.
At the end of our day, the struggle with slow is really a struggle with our identity as youth pastors. So much of who we are is linked to our ministry performance. Part of that comes from church boards and pastors who give us targets and goals to meet. It’s hard not to do everything possible in order to keep our jobs.
However, part of it comes from within ourselves, from a desire to be busy. Busy equals productivity, which equals making a difference…or so we believe. We feel we can’t impact students’ lives without being busy.
Our desire to feel important, to live fast, to be as effective as possible pushes us into lives that are disconnected from who we are, those we love, and from our Creator. For me, it took serious health problems before I finally got the message to take it slow. What will it take for you: burnout? Complete disconnect from God? Your ministry and calling? Divorce?
Look, this is simple: Just. Slow. Down. Do it before you crash.
Rachel Blom is Dutch of origin, having recently moved from Germany to upstate New York with her family. As a former youth pastor and veteran youth ministry volunteer, finding a new church home where she can build relationships with students is a high priority. Rachel is a gifted speaker, avid youth ministry blogger and author of Beyond Small Talk: Connecting with Teenagers Through Conversations that Matter.
