We’re not making this stuff up! St Columba was a real person born in December 521 AD.  St. Columba performed miracles, foretold the future, battled sea monsters, and was apparently a wiz of an editor. These stories are adapted from The Life of Saint Columba written in 1874

TODAYS EPISODE: SAINT COLUMBA VS THE LOCH NESS MONSTER
(seriously, we are not making this stuff up.)

Somewhere around the year 567 AD Columba was traveling through Scotland with a small group of monks and a few students. It was sort of an involuntary road trip that lasted years. Columba had left his beloved Ireland due to a minor disagreement over copyright infringement that resulted in the deaths of several thousand people. (We’ll tell that story another time.)

Columba and his companions were walking along the banks of the river Ness. They spotted a group of men burying the mangled body of a friend. When Columba asked what had happened to the poor man they told him the man had been swimming in the river when a giant sea beast had “bitten him most severely.” Though they tried to rescue him they wound up pulling what was left of his body to shore with a hook. (The implication being that the “rest” of the swimmer was in the belly of the beast.)

Different accounts of this story exist. One of them states that St Columba was “far from dismayed” over the event. He spotted a boat on the other side of the river and instructed a youth in his group to swim over and get it. The youth, stripped down to his boxers and jumped into the river and began to swim.

The beast, who having consumed a major portion of a swimmer just a few minutes before, was far from full. It lay on the bottom of the river and when it saw a disturbance in the surface swam upward…for what we can assume was dessert.

The beast broke through the surface of the water and swam after the youth to snack upon his personage. Some writings indicate that the distance between the swimming youth and the beast’s mouth “was not even that of a short pole.”  (A short pole was probably a well known distance of measure and today we can only assume that it was pretty darn close.)  On the banks, everyone pretty much browned their britches except for Columba. The good saint invoked the name of God, made the sign of the cross in the air, and called out. “Leave him alone. Go back where you came from.”

Onlookers later told the story that the beast reared back as if pulled by ropes and disappeared beneath the surface of the water. The youth, who’s name was Lugne, had been traveling with Columba ever since the saint had cured his chronic nosebleeds. (Again that’s ANOTHER story we’ll tell later.) Lugne arrived safely at the boat and rowed back over to the other side so that Columba and the others could cross safely.

And all those who saw this wondrous miracle recognized that this guy was really good.
They decided that Columba’s God must be pretty awesome and they all became Christians on that day.

Questions for Discussion:
Let’s say this is going to be a made for TV show from the people who brought you True Blood or maybe Walking Dead. Whom would you cast in the role of St Columba? What about Lugne? Give the scene a cool soundtrack.

If a big scary monster had recently snacked upon the last guy who went swimming in the river…would you jump in if your youth leader told you to?

If your youth leader told you that you were going on a mission trip in a far off country or deep in the inner city and it might be dangerous…would you go along?

Who do you most believe when they say “It’s going to be okay.” Why do you believe this person?

Once, Jesus told the disciples that they were going to the other side of the lake and then the storm came up and all accounts say the disciples were scared out of their pants. Jesus said, “Where is your faith?” He had already told them they were going to the other side of the lake. If Jesus says “It’s all going to be okay.” Is there really anything ANYthing that could get in the way of that?

As Christians were are told that God knows us and loves us. Why do you think so many religions put so many restrictions on that love?

If there had been no monster in this story and Lugne had been told to swim across and get the boat but “be careful because the water is a little choppy.” Would the folks on land have been impressed with God’s power or just thought Lugne was a good swimmer? Why do we sometimes need “the holy dope slap” to make us pay attention?

Would you rather God speak to you on a BIG flashing neon sign or on a post-it note? Explain.

The story says that those on the bank “magnified” God by becoming Christians? What does “magnify” mean? How do we make God bigger by becoming Christians or living as Jesus taught us?

How did you make God bigger this week? How can we make God bigger next week?