The Adventures of St. Columba, Part 2

THE ADVENTURES OF SAINT COLUMBA
We’re not making this stuff up! St Columba was a real person born in December 521 AD. St. Columba performed miracles, foretold the future, battled sea monsters, and was apparently a wiz of an editor. These stories are adapted from The Life of Saint Columba written in 1874

EPISODE 2: The Nose Knows

Remember the youth from our last story, the one who was used essentially as “bait” for the Loch Ness Monster? His name was Lugne Mocumin and he was a dedicated follower of Saint Columba.

Very old writings indicate that in his later years Lugne was the prior (the monk in charge) of a monastery on Elena Island. When he was a youth, before following the good saint Lugne suffered from chronic nosebleeds. Legend says “blood often poured profusely from his nostrils.”

After a few months of what we can assume was home remedies and consultations with the vast medical knowledge of the fourth century…Lugne went to Columba.

At first he stood at a distance not wanting to bleed upon the man he hoped with heal him of this affliction.

“Hail good saint. Lo’ it is I, Lugne, a humble youth of the community who doth come to you with a serious nosebleed problem. It makes it difficult to eat meals and even harder to get a date.”

(No, we don’t have a record of what Lugne actually said to Saint Columba and it was probably in Gaelic and not English…AND if he was holding his nose with a rag it probably sounded like “Mfff, Guud Snn. Tut eyelguuuun alfm mmufyy uuf vmefenerdiffy.” or something like that.)

Saint Columba took pity on the youth and said, “Come closer my boy.”

The youth came closer and Columba put one hand on the back of the boy’s head and with his right hand he put two fingers inside the boys nose and prayed a blessing to God for the youth’s nostril problem. From that moment the bleeding stopped and reports say that blood never again dripped from the boy’s nose.

Questions for Discussion

Why do we think that miracles have to be big and flashy? Why do people want to see Moses standing on the rock, staff in hand, parting the seas in giant waves? What’s wrong with fixing a nosebleed?

Is there any such thing as a little miracle? If you are driving into a parking lot and you arrive just as someone else is backing out of the spot closest to the door…is that a miracle coincidence?

If you have been thinking about a specific song all day long and then get into your car just as that song comes on the radio…is that a miracle or coincidence?

Is calling something a coincidence putting a limit on God?

The earliest writings of this event say that St Columba “pressed the boys nose with two fingers of his right hand.” It doesn’t say he “inserted” them. If you had a headache and your doctor said, “I can fix it but you have to let me stick my fingers up your nose.” would you let them? Would you let your youth minister? Do you believe in faith healing like you see on TV? Why do you think so many people do? Do you believe the miracles that the Bible says Jesus did?

One account in the scriptures says Jesus healed a blind man by spitting in his eyes. (Mark 8:23) Why do you think this gets “cleaned up” for the Vacation Bible School curriculum?

After this event Lugne spent his life following St Columba, eventually being in charge of a monastery on an island. What’s the nicest thing that anyone ever did for you? How do you say, “Thank you” for a miracle?

True or False: Miracles usually come hard (Explain your answer).

Lugne became so attached to St Columba that he had no question about jumping into a river where a swimmer had been recently chewed up by a sea monster (see EPISODE 1). Who do you follow and why? Who is your hero?

Write the prayer you think St Columba prayed with his fingers pressing the boy’s nose. It doesn’t have to be and extensive liturgy (although that would be fun for extra credit). NOTE TO LEADER: After your students have read their prayers have them remove the references to nosebleeds and insert some issue they feel most teens go through.

EPISODE 3: Up on the Roof

Brother Mathias did not belong on a wooden ladder let alone a roof. But he was a monk of the local monastery and the brothers helped out wherever and whenever they could. Mathias was man of vast personage.

Work was being done on the roof of the highest building in the community. The construction project was taking place in Oakwood Plain in what is now Scotland.
Mathias climbed the ladder with a hod full of bricks. With each step the ladder creaked and groaned and many thought the ladder would break under the monks considerable bulk. When he reached he roof he made and effort to straighten his robe and threw himself off balance where upon he began to flail his arms frantically and then tipped over backward off the edge of the high roof.

An ocean and a great distance of land away St. Columba sat at a small table in a small room in monastery. He was carefully writing in a large book. His work lit only by a candle and the sounds of chanting monks in the distance gave him a great sense of solitude. Suddenly he himself pitched backward nearly falling off his stool. He threw his pen in the air and clutched at anything around him for balance. He screamed “HELP HELP.”

Walking by his cell at that moment were two younger monks. One was named Colga and the other was Lugne his long-time student, formerly of the chronic nosebleeds and one time bait for sea monsters. The two came into the room and asked the good saint what was troubling him so that he might cry out in the middle of the monastery where others are trying to concentrate upon their own school work.

St Columba told the two young monks “I just ordered and angel who was here among you in the monastery to fly to the aid of one of our brothers who was at that moment pitching backward from highest roof in the town. What was he doing up on a ladder anyway?..the big lard-ass.”

(NOTE: Okay, we made the Lard-ass part up but you get the idea.)

Columba said later that the angels who had been among them flew with the swiftness of a blinking eye and caught the rotund monk as he plummeted from the high ledge and supported him so that he did not bruise or fracture himself upon meeting the ground.

Questions for Discussion

What do angels look like? Describe the angels in your church’s Christmas pageant or Sunday school papers.

Have you ever heard the words Cheribim and Seriphim? Usually we hear these words and think of little naked angels with harps flitting about God’s head like flies. Check out these verses: Gen 3:22-24, 1 Kings 6:23-29, Isaiah 6:2-4

True or False: When you die you become an angel
Answer: FALSE (well, as far as we know). There is nothing in the Bible that says we become angels after we die. The notion of getting wings and halo when you get to heaven is entirely fictional.

Do you believe in guardian angels? Do you think some people have the ability to see(and command) such things?

Interesting that for St Columba the fact that angels were present around them was not at all surprising. What impressed him was how fast the angel moved.

Who is the most faithful person you know? Who never seems to question his/her beliefs and sees the presence of God in all things? Who do you know that seems the most “connected” to God’s presence?

When have you felt the most “connected?” Were you alone? On a mission trip? Was it during a worship service?

Where is your favorite place to pray?

Does God listen to some people more than others?

When Abraham was told to sacrifice his son and then God sent an angel to say “Okay skip that last instruction” Abraham changed the name of the spot to Yireh-Elohim which means, “What God sees affects what God does.” Do you think you’ve ever changed God’s mind?

TER XVI. Of the Angel of the Lord that came so quickly and opportunely to the relief of the brother who fell from the top of the round monastery in the Oakwood Plain (Derry).
AT another time, while the holy man sat in his little cell engaged in writing, on a sudden his countenance changed, and he poured forth this cry from his pure breast, saying, “Help! Help!” Two of the brothers who stood at the door, namely, Colga, son of Cellach, and Lugne Mocublai, asked the cause of such a sudden cry. The venerable man answered, saying, “I ordered the angel of the Lord who was just now standing among you to go quickly to the relief of one of the brothers who is falling from the highest point of a large house which is now being built in the Oakwood Plain (Derry).” And the saint added afterwards these words, saying, “How wonderful and almost unspeakable is the swiftness of angelic motion, like, as I imagine, to the rapidity of lightning. For the heavenly spirit who just now flew away from us when that man began to fall, arrived there to support him, as it were, in the twinkling of an eye, before his body reached the ground; nor was the man who fell able to feel any fracture or bruise. How wonderful, I say, is that most swift and timely help which could be given so very quickly, even though such an extent of land and sea lay between!”

EPISODE 4: Saint Columba and the Impenetrable Robe

For several years Columba lived and worked in a monastery on the Hinba Island. There were several families there that were doing everything they could to destroy the church from within. St Columba set about the process of having this families excommunicated. This is a very serious punishment. It meant that none of these families could attend church, take communion, be married, buried, or baptized in the church. In those years…it was pretty much considered free pass to Hell.

The family made it their sole mission to get rid of Columba and destroy the church on the island once and for all. One of the sons of this family, named Manus Dextera, decided (or was goaded) to assasinate Brother Columba.

Word of the assasination attempt reach the monastery and a monk by the name of Findlugan put on Columba’s robe and cowl and stood outside ready to die in the place of Brother Columba. Findlugan stood outside with his back to the gate ready to sacrifice himself.

Now Manus Dexera was a very strong man and snuck up on the monastery that night with a very large very sharp spear. He saw the robed monk standing some distance away and with a very powerful thrust thew the spear and the monk he believed to Columba. But when the spear struck the robe of the good saint it did not pierce the robe or the monk beneath it. Seeing the heavy sharp spear bounce off the robe the would be assassin ran away the way he came.

Exactly one year later…right down to the very hour….Columba was sitting around a table with some other monks. They were telling stories and laughing with each other. Some one brought up the story of the time Findlugan and put on Columba’s robe and a spear did not penetrate and kill him. Someone asked, “Whatever became of Manus Dextera?”

St Columba said, “He’s dead…as of this very moment.”

Far away in another country Manus Dextera was fighting in a huge battle on the isalnd of Lunga. At that moment, an archer in the opposing army blessed an arrow in the name of St Columba and fired it. The arrow pierced the neck of Manus Dextra and he fell down dead.

Question For Discussion:
If you had the power to give a flat tire to anyone at anytime, would you want it? Do you think you could use it wisely or would you wind up using it as petty pay-back?

Would you want to know how and when someone was going to die…anyone at all?

Just between us…how does politics affect your church? Are there factions? Is there anyway these can be healthy?

The church is supposed to be the place of unconditional love and acceptance so people often come and bring their own baggage with them. If everyone brings their own baggage how can the church help?

Jesus once asked “How can you remove the splinter from someone’s eye when you’ve got a big honkin’ plank stickin’ out of your own.” (Yeah, yeah…Jesus probably didn’t say honkin’ but let’s assume there was a word for “honkin’ in Hebrew.) If everyone was being honest…what would be written on your church’s sign beneath the name?

Do you believe thatt communion doesn’t “count” if its not performed by a clergy-person? What about baptism? In the BIble John the Baptist dunked people…why is a “sprinkle” acceptable? Would you ever go for the full submersion?

Chuches will argue over what kind of bread or juice to use in communion. Is it still the Eucharist if you used donuts and coffee? How would that go over in your church?

Do people complain a lot in your church? Does your pastor get a lot of complaints?

What if you had an impenitrible robe and whenever your wore it…insults and backstabbing didn’t hurt…would you wear it alot? What if the same robe kept you from feeling compliments and good things?

What does it mean to have “thick skin”? Has anyone ever said you are too thinned skinned?

How do you “grow” thick skin?

It doesn’t matter how many times you hear “Don’t let it bother you.” It still hurts. How long do you hang onto an insult thrown at you. How do you let it go? Who is the one most likely to be there and pull the “knife” out of your back?

Talk about a time when you’ve “taken the hit” for someone else OR when someone else has taken it for you.

TRUE OR FALSE: What goes around comes around.
* Is there a time limit on that? Talk about a time when what “went around” came back and bit you in the tuckas.
* If we abuse our friendships…how long will we have friends?

YouthWorker

YouthWorker

The Adventures of St. Columba, Part 2

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