“I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you” (
Those who enter ministry often are surprised at the feelings of isolation and loneliness they encounter. Although surrounded by many people—and the constant and unrelenting demands of others—ministry can press even the most gregarious and extroverted leaders into a cave of solitude.
Likewise, when youth leaders do get together, the atmosphere often can be one of negativity or complaint. Sometimes even the most optimistic of planning sessions can disintegrate into a chorus of horror stories—each person trying to outdo the others as they swap their tales of woe. It is so easy to fall into patterns that lead to isolation.
However, when we look at the life of Jesus, we see another pattern emerging. Here was the Son of God surrounding Himself with trusted friends and supporters. Although Jesus spent much time alone in prayer and planning, He never neglected His friends. In some of His most crucial moments, Jesus asked friends to accompany Him.
Anyone who aspires to leadership in the church—especially those who work with teenagers—needs the company of good friends. These friends should be people who can accept us as we are (not by stereotype) and who can be trusted to share life beyond ministry. As Jesus took the time to be apart with His friends, to leave behind the demands of His work, we also should make time for those friends and fun pursuits that feed our souls and offer us re-creation and renewal. We need laughter as well as work, and we need a company of friends with whom we can be ourselves and enjoy life.
Good friendships are vital to vital ministry; and when we find that company of friends, we also will discover much about ourselves and embrace the type of refreshment that actually will energize us in our ministry to others. Friendships feed us.
Who are your friends? Where are you finding your refreshment and energy? What is keeping you from connecting with your friends?
Ministry is far too difficult to go it alone. Even Jesus knew that, and that is why He gave us the gift of friendship. So, create an opening each week to hang out with your friends. Let go of your stresses. Make the most of the time, and don’t forget to be a friend. Your friendship can be life-giving, too.
