These insights are very important to remember if a lead pastor is going to have impact and relationship with the teenagers in his or her congregation. Regardless of the age or generational difference, lead pastors can have a remarkable impact on the youth ministry in their respective congregations if they follow Maxwell’s lead.
Through the years, I’ve seen some transformational youth work being accomplished by lead pastors who otherwise might be highly ineffective with teenagers. Success, of course, depends on the person and the relationships. Lead pastors, in fact, can be some of the most effective youth leaders…but this doesn’t mean they need to work at the helm of youth ministry.
For example, consider Rick Warren, lead pastor at Saddleback, who has described his many in-house youth parties in his books and sermons. It is obvious that Rick Warren loves teenagers, and from the simple fact that he has opened his home to the youth—inviting them to play billiards and to enjoy movies, soft drinks and popcorn—he earns the trust and respect of his kids from his simple hospitality. His hospitality is also an affirmation to the professional youth leaders in his congregation—the men and women who are doing the daily work of relating to teenagers. Warren’s example demonstrates that in youth ministry there is no room for aloofness, position or high-handed authority to drive relationships with teenagers. Rather, friendships and a welcoming atmosphere are two of the first keynotes signaling a deep and abiding influence with teens.
Lead pastors don’t have to attend weekly youth meetings and outings in order to have this influence, however. There are some practical points of advice that lead pastors can follow that can help create an effective supplemental youth ministry of their own. Consider, for example:
Conversations
How often does a lead pastor take the time to talk to the younger members of his or her congregation? During a fellowship time, does the lead pastor seek out teenagers, as well as the more senior members of the congregation for conversation? Does a lead pastor know what is happening in the lives of the teenagers in his/her congregation?
These are important questions, and the answers can speak volumes to the effectiveness of a lead pastor’s influence with teenagers.
Leading from the Heart
Lead pastors can create solid relationships with teenagers simply by being available. This can occur when a pastor leads a small group, shows up for a breakfast meeting, teaches a Sunday School class, or attends a portion of a retreat. Leading a mission with teens also can be a remarkable experience of bonding and mutual trust—and lead pastors often discover the teenagers in the congregation have some of the most remarkable gifts and hearts for Jesus.
Letting Youth Lead
Likewise, lead pastors don’t have to shield youth from leadership positions in the church. Wise lead pastors know that youth are able to lead worship and help make decisions. Many teenagers can play instruments, sing or read Scripture in public worship. Others lead large groups in their high schools—or may be planning to major in a leadership capacity in college. So, why not use these skills in the church and let teenagers have the experience of leading now? Lead pastors can have a remarkable impact on teenagers by mentoring them into leadership roles and teaching them along the way.
Affirmation
It is amazing how a simple act such as writing a note of affirmation, sending a birthday card, or saying, “You did a great job” can change the life of a teenager. Many teenagers—including those seemingly most accomplished and self-assured—often suffer from lack of self-esteem or low confidence. Lead pastors who affirm their teenagers from the pulpit, who make public declarations of thanks, or who include teenagers as examples in their sermon illustrations and teaching are going to discover their influence with teenagers is exceedingly high. Regardless of a lead pastor’s age or station in life, affirmation is a key to winning friends and influencing people—especially young people.
Love
Lead pastors genuinely have to love the teenagers in the congregation. Teenagers cannot be regarded as nuisances, an army of brats, or as kids who simply need help. Love sees the potential and the promise of the young—and then invites them to come alongside. Lead pastors who love teenagers are going to discover they have more influence than they realize.
Enjoy Being with Teeangers
Lead pastors also can do well with teenagers by attending—as they are able—the various sporting events, concerts, and academic and theatrical pursuits teens enjoy. Many lead pastors can attest to the impact on young lives when they have attended a basketball or football game, or when they have been in the audience and cheered for a teenager on stage. These may seem to be small and innocuous events to many adults, but savvy lead pastors know these events mean the world to teenagers. Being present with teenagers and enjoying their company is highly impactful.
Look for the Next Leader
So many lead pastors overlook the necessity and divine call inherent in seeking (and calling out) the next generation of church leaders. Think about it: In every congregation there are teenagers who will need to serve as the next generation of pastors, teachers, musicians and administrators. Lead pastors who engage teenagers with this level of conversation and call are far more likely to multiply ministry in the decades ahead. It is vital for every lead pastor to ask certain teenagers: “Have you ever thought about pastoral ministry?” or “Have you ever thought about being a youth pastor?” or “Do you think God might be calling you to be a missionary?” Through these questions and others, lead pastors can begin conversations with certain teenagers that ultimately can be life-changing for themselves—and for others.
Be Yourself
Finally, lead pastors need to be comfortable around teenagers. They don’t need to try to be cool or hip or show how much they know about technology, or the most popular movie, or the latest fads in fashion. Rather, a little humility never hurts—and it is actually beneficial if lead pastors are honest about how little they do know. Nerdyness isn’t a sin—and lead pastors need to understand that teenagers will honor them if they are honest about their own deficiencies. Lead pastors who desire a relationship with teenagers need to relax…and just be themselves. Somewhere in the relationship there are bound to be conversations about faith, the church, and the many blessings teenagers bring to the people of God.
