Talking to teen girls about how they dress can be an area that not many want to enter. For many girls, their whole identity comes through what the wear. They take great pride in picking out the hottest fashions and staying up-to-date on the latest styles. However, it is precisely because girls care so much about what they wear that we are called to address the issue of modesty with them. Fair or not, society will attach the values that a girl has to how she is dressing. We owe it to these ladies to encourage them to “clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus, the Messiah, and do not obey your flesh and its desires” (
If the right person with the right attitude presents the topic of modesty to the girls in your group, it actually can be something that really engages them and builds on many of their interests. If you have a recent college graduate or another young woman in your church who can give the talk and lead the activities, it can help to bring a hip and relevant appeal to the message. Leaving a lot of time for discussion is also important. This will help the girls come together and feel their voices have been heard rather than having been told how to dress.
Be sure to include why the girls should want to dress modestly. It’s not just because we don’t want to lead boys into sin by dressing inappropriately. It is because dressing in a way that is honoring to God reflects our inner beauty, our gifts and the light of Christ. It shows we care about and respect ourselves. Dressing sloppily or not caring at all about how we look can be just as harmful as dressing in a way that reveals too much. This tells people we don’t take pride in the people God has created us to be.
It’s also important to share with girls that we know dressing modestly can be a challenge, that it’s not always easy to be fashionable while remaining modest. It’s something we should pray for wisdom to do, especially when many others around us are dressing in ways that seem more attractive. Remind the girls to be confident that when they dress modestly they will attract the kind of guys who will treat them in ways that are pure and respectful. Encourage them that although it may take time to put the right outfit together, they can still look beautiful and fashionable while following some of the recommendations for dressing modestly.
Below are a few of the ideas that have gotten the girls in our group excited about dressing to reflect Christ each and every day.
• Hold a Modesty Fashion Show: After the girls have heard a teaching and been given a few guidelines, you can have them put together outfits that are modest. In order to prep for this, you could ask girls to bring in some clothes from home to use, or you could take them shopping at a thrift store. This activity will help the girls see that being modest doesn’t mean you can’t be fashionable, as well as relatively inexpensive. Piecing together and layering are creative ways to be able to wear the same things everyone else does, but still honoring the bodies God gave us. This is activity works well when done in small groups.
• YouTube How to Dress Modestly Videos: A quick search on YouTube can help you can figure out how to do just about anything. Challenge small groups of girls to come up with a 2-minute video about how to dress modestly based on guidelines you’ve given them. Take time to watch all the videos and vote on the most creative one. A variation of this activity is to create Modest Music Videos. Using popular songs, recreate the videos with girls dressed modestly.
• Magazine Cut-Outs: In order to prepare, cut out several pictures of models from magazines. Some should be dressed modestly (hard to find!), and others should be dressed immodestly. Give each of your groups of girls a magazine cut out. The way we dress sends a message to others. Have the girls come up with some of the messages these magazine pictures are sending and list them on a sheet of paper. You could include questions (What is her name? Does this show she respects her body? What does the outfit tell you about who she is and what she values?). They will come up with a character sketch based on how they perceive the women in the images solely on what she is wearing. This can lead to good conversation about how we send messages to people through our style though it might not be what we intended.
• MY STYLE: Give each girl a paper folded into four boxes. Each box will contain a question they must answer.
Box 1- What quality of God do I want others to see in me?
Box 2: What is one of my dreams for the future?
Box 3: What are the top three qualities I would look for in a spouse?
Box 4: How would I describe myself?
After they have written an answer to each question, ask them to write, draw or cut out a picture from a magazine to design one outfit that would reflect the answer they wrote. Lead the girls into sharing their mini-posters on modesty. Have the girls write on the top of the poster
