I remember early in my youth ministry career–besides being young, immature, arrogant and having a chip on my shoulder–I also had mindset that seemed to be prevalent in youth ministry: the battle of Us v. Them. The us refers to youth workers; them refers to the senior pastors, adults and others who did not get youth ministry. It was not just the youth workers who were young and thought this way; this was heard from almost everyone in youth ministry. Mike Yaconelli constantly was critical of those in the them crowd in the church for not understanding the nature of youth ministry.

While there was (and still is) plenty of arrogance in youth ministry, I believe there was some truth to the idea that it was youth workers who really got it. The church can be resistant to new ideas, unconventional thinking, creativity and outside-the-box thinking. Youth workers attempt to lead the way in helping the church think differently. I remember so many conversations around this topic as recently as 2005, but something has changed.

Hopefully some of us (present company included) have grown up and matured (some would say ruined). Youth ministry has changed. It does not have the importance, power or influence that it once did. The busyness of culture, the lack of youth and adult participation and the economic realities that have changed the church staff market in general are all part of the equation. The world has changed, the church has changed, and youth ministry has changed. Maybe it all makes sense, or maybe it’s just me. Yet, I think something else is happening. The us crowd, the creative, innovative youth workers who used to lead the way, have become them. It’s no longer the senior pastors, adults and other leaders of the church who are resisting change. It’s now those of us in the youth ministry world. I am not sure what happened; perhaps we are just comfortable or maybe tired. We have lost some of our power, leverage and influence. I don’t think youth ministry has matured, though. In fact, our youth ministries seem more theologically immature than ever. I see some of the same games, strategies and mindsets I experienced as an intern in the late 1990s. Youth workers seem more resistant than ever to ideas from parents and those outside their circles, especially senior pastors.

While I have yet to hear a single youth worker utter the death phrase “We have never done it that way before,” I see so many youth workers operating from that mindset. What happened to our innovation? What happened to our thoughtful, cutting-edge, rebellious nature? Where has our sensitivity and discernment to the changing needs of culture gone while trying to engage the Holy Spirit? While I would say we have lost our way (and we did need to grow up), I also believe youth ministry has become a victim of its own success. We have fallen into the trap of being professional ministers. We have lost sight of the mission and have found comfort in our own empires (regardless of actual size). Much like the church leaders of the past (and perhaps the present), we are unable to challenge our own thinking, especially if what we are doing appears to work.

The problem is that I am not so sure it is working anymore. Sure, we have amazing youth ministries with fun games and messages that change lives instantly (or so we think). Yet, in a world where our teenagers hide more of their lives from us, we have created an alternate world that looks more like a Christian bookstore than the kingdom of God. Our youth are coming to faith and experiencing radical change, and moments later are off to the parking lot to have sex in their cars. Our student leaders are not the youth who are sold out for Jesus. They are the youth who are able to manage multiple selves and pretend better than others. Everything has changed, and the problem is we have not changed with it. It’s now those in the them crowd leading the way, and those of us in the us crowd are stuck in our own comfort.