I dreaded going into the office on Monday morning following Fish Olympics. Several hundred high schoolers showed up for an event at which we used frozen trout as shot puts, volleyballs, hockey pucks and other Olympic-style items in a series of really fun games. It was an outreach event, so we tried doing something unusual to get high schoolers to show up, ones who normally may not come to a typical youth meeting. Unfortunately, what I didn’t consider was the innards of the fish splattered all over our parking lots, sidewalks, and on the buildings. Although we did our best to clean it, we missed some fish parts that remained hanging in trees and shrubs. After a few days, the vibrant fish scent lingered in the air around the building.

I really didn’t want to meet with the senior pastor that morning…not at all.

I knew to expect to be talked to about this, and there was already tension between the senior pastor and me. There already were questions about why high schoolers were attending youth group but not Sunday morning worship. There also were questions about the style of music we were playing. Our mid-week outreach drew so many kids who normally wouldn’t be at church, and those kids weren’t typical. They smoked. There was some occasional vandalism. At one point, there were gang-related threats between two groups that began coming to our mid-week outreach meeting.

I was taking risks and experimenting with things such as Fish Olympics for the sake of seeing teenagers who didn’t know Jesus come to know and follow Him. We absolutely were teaching the Bible and doctrine and seeing teenagers put faith in Jesus. Despite the success, I felt as if we were under constant suspicion. When the tension developed between me and the senior pastor, I began thinking, “If I were the senior pastor, I certainly would run things differently if the goal is for youth to be involved in the whole church.”

Well, 15 years later, I am a senior pastor. As I reflect on my days in youth ministry, I realize how lucky I was to have the senior pastor I had back then. He let me do things I now remember with amazement. Ironically, I now understand why he sometimes had concerns. These days, I have the opportunity to rethink youth ministry not as a youth leader, but as a lead pastor strategizing how to reach youth in our town. As I do, these important questions haunt me:

• How should youth ministry look in today’s culture? Should there be any differences between now and 15 years ago—corrections made from lessons learned since then?

• How do we integrate youth into the whole church and not isolate them into compartments?

• How do we change the nightmare statistics of how many youth leave the church after high school?

• How do I as lead pastor support and relate to the youth ministry in a way that is best for the whole church?

As I attempt to think strategically to answer these questions, it helps to remember the history of our church.

In a Hole in the Church, There Lived a Youth Pastor
Ironically, when I first was asked to come on staff at the church to be the youth pastor, I never had been to a youth group. Because I had no experience, I began studying other churches and youth ministries. I made my trek to Willow Creek Community Church and Saddleback. I could not return from having visited those churches without having a heart for teenagers who did not know Jesus. We did what many youth ministries did at the time: Sundays were reserved for teaching and worship for believers; Wednesdays primarily were when students brought their friends. We had drama, bands, lights, videos…Despite what I look back on now as an overemphasis of programming, God used that ministry—the volunteers and students—to see many high schoolers put faith in Jesus. The group of 11 high schoolers grew to more than 300. We grew so big the church had to move all that was happening on Wednesday nights to other nights of the week because we needed the whole church campus. We knew youth didn’t just need a big meeting—they needed relationships. So, we changed the Wednesday night format to have them all first meet in smaller groups all over the campus before they came to the big program.

Sundays were for teaching through books of the Bible and topics for growing as Jesus’ disciples. We had more prolonged times of worship without fancy lights or smoke machines; but because it was such a thrilling time of growth (including Sundays), the church had no space where we could meet. So we ended up renting a local high school theater on Sundays. We had busses that waited in the parking lot of the main church, and parents would drop off their high schoolers and go into the main worship service while we bussed the teenagers to the Sunday service for them offsite.

This was an amazing time to be in ministry at our church, but it created a problem for us. High schoolers never interacted with the rest of the church. We canvassed the whole campus on our own on Wednesday nights and bussed them offsite on Sundays. We pretty much functioned as our own church. By the time I became aware of what really was happening, they had started graduating from high school. They hadn’t been part of the church, so going to an entirely different meeting with a different format and leaders was far too big of a jump for them. They stopped coming to church meetings.

I couldn’t live with this reality, and to resolve it—from good motivations—I did the best thing I could. We started another worship gathering for college-age people. During the next few years, this ministry grew to 1,000 young adults. Many of them were in small groups, so there was more to it than one big weekly meeting, but the irony was that I inadvertently created yet another compartmentalized ministry in an attempt not to have high school be a compartmentalized ministry.

A Holistic Wish List
Fast forward to being a lead pastor—I am horrified by the national statistics of how many youth leave church once they graduate from high school. We have read the amazing insights from recent research about the critical importance of intergenerational relationships in the church. We are keenly aware of the danger of compartmentalizing youth ministry in a church. Looking back on that adventure, I’ve learned several things.

• I wish I had appreciated the senior pastor more. When I was youth pastor, I was focused on one single thing: youth ministry. I wasn’t worried about the church budget, whether offerings came in, children’s ministry, men’s ministry, or the variety of music preferences of various generations within the church. I didn’t lead elder meetings and wasn’t concerned about how healthily the whole church was functioning together. I was focused on one segment, and at the time didn’t think about the whole.

I now have much more empathy regarding the pressures of senior pastors. So, instead of wondering why they don’t understand me (as a youth minister), maybe I need to try and understand them more. I wish I had asked more about how I could pray and support my senior pastor than I ever did. In my role now as lead pastor, I intentionally am trying to make sure I am attending youth meetings. I attended two junior high activities and a camp this summer. I am meeting with the high school intern this Sunday to encourage her. I want to be more involved relationally with youth ministry staff members so they know me better and I get to hear and learn from them.

• I wish I hadn’t isolated students, and instead brought them into the whole life of the church. I think that pretty much says it all. I wish we had done more to connect students to the entire body of Christ instead of leaving them compartmentalized in the youth room.

At our church now, we are experimenting with tearing down the walls a bit. Our students attend the worship gathering and then have dinner afterward with church families. So, each week they are part of the church family and worship. We also are trying to figure out ways for them to be involved in owning ministries and serving in areas of the church outside of youth ministry—ushers, children’s, tech and compassion ministries.

• I wish I had taught students what church is theologically and practically. This is perhaps the biggest mistake I made. Back when I started in youth ministry, I should have helped students understand the church is so much bigger than a theological concept, and it’s so much bigger than a group of people worshiping together on Sundays. You don’t go to church; we are the church. I would have stressed more in my teaching that to be a healthy follower of Jesus, one should be part of a local church. I believe if we aren’t teaching youth that church is not just the youth group, we will continue the pattern of disconnect, and when they graduate they may leave church.

• I wish I had taught deeper theology and apologetics. I taught the Bible, of course, but I wish I had been proactive about teaching more direct theology, doctrine and apologetics than focusing on felt-need topics. We shortchange youth by thinking they aren’t interested in deeper teaching or theology. I believe we need to up the level of Scripture and theology that we teach to youth today. Teaching the broad storyline of the whole Bible is critical. Preparing students before graduation for the tough questions regarding faith that are being asked today is critical. Attention should be given to establishing a culture in which youth feel the freedom to ask questions and are encouraged to ask those questions.

• I’m extremely glad we emphasized mentoring. I realize the impact of this every day. Being in the same town, I get to talk to youth who are now 10 years out of high school. Every time I ask them what was most important in what we did, they talk about being in a small group with a leader who loved, cared for and mentored them. It may take Fish Olympics to build trust, but the real change happens through a godly adult who leads and shepherds students in small group relationships.

That’s not my entire list, but it’s the basics. It’s fascinating to be a lead pastor, returning to rethink and focus on youth ministry again for our church. We’re working to integrate students into the life of the church, involving them in groups with older members of the church, but we still have a mid-week time just for students. We are working to re-envision youth ministry as a family ministry and as a central part of the church, not just a program of the church. We also are doing whatever we can to support parents in their role of shaping the spirituality of their kids.

In the midst of all the retrospection and seeing the danger in overly programmed youth ministry, I still believe in having youth programs. I still would do Fish Olympics (or something not quite as messy). As we now are designing our youth ministry in our church, we are making sure youth have small group discussions with their peers and mentors. We make sure we have youth leaders who understand the connectedness of the entire church, as well as the value of holistic ministry to students.

Youth workers, you are my heroes. Thank you for what you do. Senior pastors need you. We need your voices, ideas and insights into culture and youth. You sacrifice so much time, heart and prayers, and you have what I think is the most difficult age group to be leading in the church. Remember, all your time and effort is worth it. You are the ones working with people at a critical time of life, showing them Jesus.

For us, this adventure still is continuing, and it’s fascinating to live through the transition from youth pastor to senior pastor to senior pastor helping with youth and youth leaders. I wish every lead pastor would involve themselves in youth ministry, if only just to participate in a decent game of fish volleyball.

Dan Kimball is the director of the ReGeneration Project at Western Seminary, which focuses on theology and apologetics for college age and young adults and studying churches that are seeing the negative trends reversed and younger generations becoming part of them and following Jesus. He also teaches at George Fox University in Portland, Oregon. He’s the author of several books, including They Like Jesus But Not the Church. He is married to Becky; has two daughters, Katie and Claire; and is a drummer who loves rockabilly and punk music, as well as comic books. You can contact Dan via Facebook.