Working at camp for almost a decade has given me the opportunity to watch campers as they are growing up year after year. To be honest, it tends to make one feel old seeing a former camper go off to college or hear that quirky 7-year-old say he plans to try out for high school varsity football. What gives the counselor and camper such a bond? Such closeness doesn’t come solely from playing pranks, singing songs, engaging in activities and playing games together during a series of summers. A unifying bond comes from having shared deep life stories and struggles.
Similarly, when a communicator shares something hard with an audience, he or she suddenly becomes a relatable comrade, walking the same life as those listening. Becoming vulnerable and sharing past or current struggles with a captive audience will help your message resonate.
A few years ago, I was asked to share my personal story with a group of campers around a Friday night camp fire. To be perfectly honest, I didn’t want to share my story. I didn’t see the point. However, I put aside the fact that I was grumpy and tired and got up to share my story. The main idea I was communicating was that despite several troubles and worries, I trusted God with my future,and in so doing, laid it all down at His feet. I conveyed the attitude of: I can’t do half as good of a job as the Creator of the universe.
This piqued this interest of one camper, Jamal. Jamal was a veteran camper, attending what must have been his seventh year. He also was a problem camper, who didn’t go one week without being sent to work in the kitchen or mop floors due to a behavioral issue. Despite the constant need for discipline, he still came back each summer with a happy attitude. What I said to those listening around the fire was in regard to some difficult times I had to hand over to God, and the message really struck a chord with Jamal. My sharing prompted him to talk to his counselor that night, which led to him accepting Christ. I was struck by how one evening of vulnerability brought an unruly boy to think about his future and his heart. So, what are some benefits of being vulnerable with your audience?
1. You Become Human
I don’t know of anyone who can relate with an android. Androids can’t love, feel or express emotion. By becoming vulnerable with your audience, you become flesh and bone. No longer are you holding the front of being perfect without shame, guilt or fault. You become someone who (ideally) is dealing with or have dealt with the issue or topic you are communicating to your audience. When you share a story or testimony with the audience, you become someone who has gained wisdom, experience and credibility.
2. You Become Relational
No one is perfect. No one can relate perfectly to another imperfect person. No one wants to feel as if he or she is being talked down to, so communication regarding a topic or issue that you have a bit of experience with will help your audience see you as being certified or having credentials to speak about the subject. Why do friends seek advice from their peers? Because they know their friends will understand them with the ability of relating to their situation.
3. You Become Approachable
Similar to the way a friend who is being relational will draw his or her peers to themselves to talk about hard issues, the communicator can use vulnerability to create an environment of approachability for his or her audience. Being approachable means your audience will have the opportunity to ask follow-up questions, get more information following the talk, share their unique circumstances, and provide valuable feedback about how you did with your talk(s)—good and bad—so you can make improvements in future talks.
With the three points mentioned, please keep in mind that in order to make this work, the communicator needs to be honest and exercise humility. Pride won’t get you far with your audience, and those listening will be turned off by false humility. Children and teens especially have the gift of discernment when it comes to knowing if someone is sincere. Be careful in how you present yourself to your audience; you may do great harm or great service to the open ears and hearts before you.
