Not long ago, I sat in a local hockey arena with 2,800 other screaming fans. During a break in the action, I scanned the crowd only to have my attention captured by something that has become a common denominator in our culture: cell phones. They were everywhere. People of all ages, phones in hand, either making calls, sending text messages or playing video games, as was the teenage girl sitting in front of me.
The rising influence of media is having an ever-evolving impact on the way we live. As technology has grown our world has shrunk at break-neck speed. In January 2010, the Kaiser Family Foundation concluded children between the ages of 8-18 spend an average of seven hours and 38 minutes per day using entertainment media (i.e., computers, Internet access, iPods, DVDs, cell phones, etc.), an increase of more than one hour per day during the past five years. This translates to approximately 53 hours per week—more than most full-time jobs—devoted to accessing media of different varieties. Kaiser’s conclusion is rather revealing: “Most youth say they have no rules about how much time they can spend with TV, video games or computers.”
Canadian families seem to experience similar trends. According to a 2007 study by the Vanier Institute of the Family, at least half of students in grade 11 have their own computer with Internet access; the same is true for a fifth of fourth graders. Almost 70 percent of 16- and 17-year-olds have their own cell phones, which they also can use to access the Internet for just about anything and send text messages to just about anyone.
If most youth have few boundaries on their media consumption as the Kaiser findings suggest, then it is likely that someone or something else is playing an important role in their development. The disparaging part is that most parents may not realize it.
Name That Tune
While at the hockey game that night, I realized how significant this issue is. As at most sporting events when the play stops, music is pumped over the loud speakers to keep the fans entertained. Sitting only a few rows behind us were a dozen 9- and 10-year-olds who exuberantly sang along to almost every song. Their fun was partly in the fact they were singing off-key; but more than that, they were singing back-up for the people such as Jay-Z, Alicia Keyes, the Black Eyed Peas, Orianthi, Ke$ha and Lady Gaga.
It shouldn’t surprise us that such artists have so vividly captured the attention of this generation. Take Gaga, for example. At age 24, she relates to tweens and teens because she speaks openly about how lonely and ostracized she felt during high school, experiences many of today’s young people face. As openly as she speaks about that, however, she also preaches her hatred for truth and that she would rather be fed lies. One Generation Y blogger says Gaga makes it clear that her goal at each concert—with thousands of young adoring fans cheering on—is “to create an environment where everyone can feel free and release [his or her] inner ‘monsters.'” During a number of her songs, Gaga apparently leads vulnerable onlookers to accomplish this feat by simulating explicit sexual behavior on stage. The same blogger concludes, “Loneliness, the monster that has haunted everyone in the room, has vanished, and with Lady Gaga by our side, it will never come back.” Consciously or otherwise, many Gaga fans are accepting her invitation to find the cure for whatever ails them in a lifestyle that in the long run will bring deeper pain rather than long-term healing.
Movies have also become a medium for teaching or in some cases creating truth. There are an abundance of flicks on the silver screen that are asking and trying to answer deeply spiritual questions, but this is not a new endeavor. Since the Garden of Eden, we have been searching for meaning in a world that sometimes seems to lack it. Baylor University professor and author Greg Garrett suggests, “In times of trouble, people look for two things from the culture they consume—entertainment and understanding.” The difference now is that the questions—and the suggested answers—are much more accessible and heard with far greater frequency and often cannot be reconciled with a biblical worldview.
In the fray, this generation of youth is becoming disciples of something or someone. There are plenty of teachers with plenty to teach. Much of the attraction for teens lies in the fact that they are finding outlets that are addressing the questions that matter most to them: How do I deal with my overwhelming sense of loneliness? How do I make sense of a world that just doesn’t seem to make sense? How am I supposed to feel? What am I supposed to do? Who am I, really? Where do we begin?
Helping kids address these questions begins by understanding two foundational principles.
First, remember that as your youth go through the tumultuous teen years, they are continually experiencing new feelings, emotions, and thoughts that influence their behavior. If your kids are tweens or teens, they are at an age, as Walt Mueller says, where they are experiencing more and understanding less. As they grow through these stages, they need wise guidance to disciple them through an already confusing time of life. Explore as much as you can to find out what’s happening at school, on their sports teams, with their friends, and so on.
Second, remember that your goal is not to change the culture that is having a heavy-handed influence on this generation. Aspects of culture change far too quickly for that to be our goal. Our mandate as youth leaders is to come alongside parents who are raising their kids according to biblical standards, and to influence and instruct those kids with the truth of God. Spend some time teaching your youth—and their parents—how to make healthy decisions about media consumption on their own. Ideally, have an ongoing discussion with teens and parents that will help them understand the culture we are in and how we can live a transformed life in it.
I certainly didn’t expect to go to a hockey game and have a concert break out, but it almost did. I was reminded again that the dazzling draw and persuasive impact of media seems to be reaching children at younger ages all the time, and it challenged me to think more deeply about how I am influencing and instructing those under my care because more than anything I want to help them to be a disciple of Christ who knows what it means to deny themselves, take up their cross daily and follow Him.
Simple Ways to Start Helping Your Kids Make Wise Choices
• Know what your youth are consuming. Talk to them about what’s popular on TV and their favorite songs they have downloaded recently. Ask them what the message of the song is and why they like it enough to keep listening to it.
• Always emphasize that the Bible speaks in some way to the decisions we make every day. They don’t have to trust their feelings only or the messages of media, which change all the time. They can fully trust the unchanging Word of God which is “useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, so that all God’s people may be thoroughly equipped for every good work” (
• Teach youth and their parents to ask the right questions about the music they listen to, the movies they watch, or the magazines they read. For instance, does this say anything about what is right and what is wrong? What does it say about God? Does it glorify things like sex, drugs, money, violence or the degradation of other people? Why do I want to spend my time and money to listen to, watch, or read this? Based on these discoveries, should this still be part of my life?
• Memorize
• Friend as many of your kids on Facebook as possible. Not only is it likely the easiest way to keep in touch with them but you’ll also gain access to a side of them you may not otherwise see face-to-face.
• Constantly emphasize with the kids in your group that they can talk to you about these things anytime they have questions or concerns. Establish healthy parameters with their parents, as well, that ultimately filters the kids back to them when something happens. If kids feel that your door is closed, they will start searching for someone else’s door that is open.
• Set a good example. Don’t just tell kids the benefits of making wise choices; show them what it looks like and the difference it can make in their life.
